#181 – And when I caused the harm?A former client once told me that, as a toddler and young kid, she used to bump her head against the couch whenever she made a mistake. Like many people, she believed self-punishment was the way to greatness.It's not...

#180 – But what if they *really* hurt me?When someone causes us (or someone we care about) harm, a common reaction is anger. After the initial shock, as we replay the act in our head, our desire for justice and reparation becomes vindictive in the ha...

#179 – Forgiveness is key, but how do you actually do it?During a group coaching call, a participant asked the question: "how do you forgive someone or yourself, practically speaking? What do you actually do?"I understand that question down in my bon...

#178 – Will your Ego ever leave you alone?Short answer: no. But you created it, so you might as well train it so it doesn't ruin your relationships.In truth, it's yourself whom you need to train. You need to learn to ignore its demands and tantr...

#177 – What is life asking of you?When I told my husband about the radical acceptance stance I've been trying to practice, he understood it as passivity––do nothing. It’s not that.One thing is to not fight. A different thing is to not act. What I adv...

#176 – What do you gain when you fight reality?Nothing. Period.For years, I bought into the concept of "create the life you want." I even had it as a tagline under my email signature and on my business cards. What an illusion! Life creates itself and...

#175 – ...But is it your True Self or your Ego talking?We all hear a voice (or several) nagging at us from between our ears: you should study more, you shouldn't eat that, your hair's too gray, when did you get that wrinkle?But we also have an inner...

#174 – How will respecting your True Self change your experience?For years, I was stuck in my father's comment from 1983. At 13, I interpreted his words ("to be a writer, you need to know a lot of things") as proof that I couldn't write – I didn't kn...

#173 – How does the Ghost of Undervaluing derail your life?The words validation and valuation have the same Latin origin: 'valor,' which means courage, value, and worth.Feeling that we need external validation (or valuation, i.e., assignment of...

#172 – Who wants you to "look good?"Early in my career as a voice teacher for singers and actors, I noticed a pattern: some of them were too concerned about how they looked while performing.Instead of connecting with the song or the scene on a deep,...