#239 – What makes "difficult conversations" difficult?

As a coach, I've helped countless executives prepare for "difficult conversations" in a broad range of situations – personal and professional.

Today, I realize something. It's not the conversation per se that's difficult – there are no particular strange words, the reasoning is not particularly obscure.

The reason that some conversations feel difficult is that we can't know for sure how our counterpart is going to react to what we tell them.

So, we're not put off by the conversation but by the outcome, based on the unpredictability of the other person's response.

In general, we know how the world is going to behave: if I fall off a cliff, I can predict how my bones are going to respond – not well. If I leave my ice cream under the sun, I know what'll happen, etcetera.

But if I tell my spouse that I want to move to Miami from New Jersey? I can imagine, based on past behavior, but when it comes to humans, we can never be 100% certain.

As a coach, I've helped countless executives try and manipulate the other person so that the outcome they wanted would be more likely – I apologize.

If I were to do it all over again, I'd just advise clients to not listen to their Ego and Ghosts, and not to speak to the other person's Ego or Ghosts.

Easier said than done? Maybe, that's why the inner work to develop an exquisite awareness of our internal dynamics is so critical – hence this newsletter.

How will approaching your next "difficult conversation" from your True Self ease things up and help you connect more?

Love,

Carolina