#235 – What happens when they don't like your work?

Have you ever felt like you did something wrong because someone didn't like your work?

I have. August, 2003, Pan-European Voice Conference in Graz, Austria. I'd memorized my speaking notes for the 53 slides I'd prepared for my 12-minute slot (yeah – 53 slides in 12 minutes).

Minute three: some people stand up. As they head to the door, I look at them and stammer, "Sorry!," tilted head, awkward smile. A heat wave flood my neck and face. I grasp the index cards with clumsy hands.

Like it was my fault that they weren't enjoying my presentation. I mean, in a way... 53 slides in 12 minutes!

But really, how do I know they weren't enjoying my presentation? Maybe they had a meeting elsewhere. Or needed the restroom. Or. Yeah, okay, maybe they were bored.

What I now understand is that people's reactions to what we put out has nothing to do with us and everything to do with them: their circumstance, needs, expectations.

Of course, if you're trying to persuade an audience to do something for you (re: fund your startup, approve your project...), you better take them into consideration.

As a creator (be it a researcher, writer, actor, potter, sales manager, head of recruitment...), your only job is to put your heart and soul, and some meraki* into your work. To ensure that what you're putting out expresses your vision.

When you work from your truth, feeling like you've done something wrong because others didn't approve, appreciate, or validated your work is like feeling guilty for having curly hair (another nonsensical manifestation of the Ghost of Misplaced Guilt).

Did you stay out of the way between your work and the people it's for, and did you put all the meraki into it? Then that's it. If others don't like it, that's new information you have about them – not about you.

Which/whose opinions will you disregard to create more freely and authentically?

Love,

Carolina

* Meraki means to work with soul, creativity, and love; also working with passion and devotion.