#243 – Do you uphold Deep Democracy within yourself?

As a principle, Deep Democracy asserts that all voices inform every process. We can't understand or influence a process (a conflict, relationship, trauma response, etc.) unless we hear the perspectives of all involved.

That means that every time we say, "I don't want to hear about it," we're rejecting Deep Democracy (DD) by silencing a voice.

DD isn't about the majority rule, like regular democracy, but about giving equal respect and consideration to all. Not because a group's voice is more popular, do they deserve to automatically skew the balance in their favor.

Fully upholding DD takes courage – to have open conversations and reconsider our positions.

I believe living the principle out in the world would make everyone's life easier, but the focus of this piece is what we do with the voices inside ourselves during our internal processes.

The Ego is the big dictator. It'll try by all means to silence whatever voice it doesn't agree with.

Say you're trying to make a bold move – launch your career as a writer –, and the Ego's like, "Nah – uh-oh, forget about it."

Then enters the Ghost of Idea Deflection to list the reasons it's not going to work.

But when the Ghost of Misplaced Shame shows up reminding you of the time you submitted your novel to an agent and heard but crickets, the Ego lifts its hand to its face, "I don't want to hear about it" and shoves it in a closet. After all, your protection's its only goal.

But what do you think the GoMS is going to do inside the closet? Exactly: it'll start kicking and screaming because it knows it's right. You didn't want to re-experience the shame of not hearing back from the agent after all it took for you to send the manuscript? Well, you're gonna – and on steroids, because the GoMS won't stop until someone lets it out and listens to what it has to say.

The solution is to offer the Ghosts and the Ego the same respect and consideration you'd give anyone else.

One thing that works for me is to write down these voices I hear in my head. Not to take their orders or agree with them, but to acknowledge they're there and let them know I hear them.

If you do this, you'll notice how easily they lose steam. And if they don't, you can always write them down whenever they show up.

What voices in your head will you let out of the closet so they stop pestering you?

Love,

Carolina