Duck! The buzzards and chickens come home to roost 🐓

Southernism of the Week: “Buzzards and chickens come home to roost.” Meaning: Your bad deeds will haunt you. But it kind of feels appropriate for some holiday family visits too! 🤣 Find the Felony Melanie: Sweet Home Alabama romantic comedy nove...

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Dec 13, 2024
Saguaro are the funniest of the cacti 🌵😜

Voice recognition mistake of the week: I dictated this for my upcoming mystery about a woman who can read objects through her touch. “I didn’t like wearing gloves. I didn’t want any information from my touch, but I felt oddly clumsy, like trying to c...

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Dec 06, 2024
A sharp ax beats big muscle (leftover pie beats both) 🥧

Southernism of the Week: “A sharp ax is better than big muscle.” 💪 Meaning: Use your head, not your back. Find the Felony Melanie: Sweet Home Alabama romantic comedy novels at all retailers. If you haven’t yet collected your free copy of Felony Mela...

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Nov 29, 2024
Watch out for those ferry creatures ⛵

Voice recognition mistake of the day: “unless he’s a ferry creature ...” Yeah, pretty sure the character wasn’t a boat. 🧚‍♂️ To no one's surprise, ferret photos were a favorite of newsletter readers. That makes it even harder to report that we...

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Nov 23, 2024
No biscuits with kittens in an oven! 😸

Southernism of the Week: “A cat can have kittens in an oven, but that don’t make ‘em biscuits.”Find the Felony Melanie: Sweet Home Alabama romantic comedy novels at all retailers. If you haven’t yet collected your free copy of Felony Melanie Destroys...

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Nov 15, 2024
Just what is that cat doing, anyway? 🙀

Voice recognition mistake of the day: “Make the cats execute, and they might clear the shelters by New Year’s day.” Ahem, let’s change that to “extra cute.”Will you do me a favor, ? Reply and let me know what you like in the newsletter. Do you want t...

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Nov 09, 2024
Don’t argue with idiots because ...🤪

Southernism of the Week: “Don’t argue with idiots, they will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.”Find the Felony Melanie: Sweet Home Alabama romantic comedy novels at all retailers. If you haven’t yet collected your free copy o...

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Nov 01, 2024
Do you want to see a ferret sweatshirt monster? 😃

Voice recognition mistake of the day: "They were fresh scrubbed, wearing long-sleeved shirts, new-looking genes and cowboy boots." 🙄  If only we could trade out our genes easily. I wouldn't mind replacing the bad back I inherited from my dad.&n...

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Oct 25, 2024
She’s all gurgle and no guts! 🤢

Southernism of the Week: “She’s all gurgle and no guts.” That means someone is a coward. You couldn't say that about Felony Melanie!Find the Felony Melanie: Sweet Home Alabama romantic comedy novels at all retailers. If you haven’t yet collected your...

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Oct 18, 2024