Dear humans,I fear the female has become a zombie. Something work-related has required the male creature to be up earlier than any critter in this household likes for a Saturday. That means before 8 AM. Way before 8 AM. This is so wrong.The date is A...
Dear humans,Paint me like a French girl and tell me you love me.I need a lot of love this morning. The female is being crazy again. She has, after testing out an ad on facebook, decided she's going to attempt to advertise her way to USA Today with Gr...
Dear humans,We spent many minutes writing an email, and because the female is special, she hit the wrong button. She lost our email.We did not scratch her. We deserve extra treats today.As the female is obviously non-functional today, we recap what w...
Dear humans,I bring to you a tale of treachery! Deceit! Sleepy females who were trying to innocently rest.So there the female was, trying to sleep. She was even succeeding, except she was having a dumb-fuck dream about anything living that might touc...
Dear humans,We are poopyheads, and we CAN haz the dumbz.Our PO Box address is actually as follows:RJ Blain / Pen & Page PublishingPO Box 2663Cupertino, CA 95015As punishment for hasing the dumb, we have stone a snippet of Taken for your enjoyment...
We're sorry this is a rare reposting from the blog. Please insert a clever joke here. The female feels this is really important. We will be back to our regularly scheduled posts tomorrow, with extra humor and stolen snippets for your enjoyment.Please...
Dear humans,I had to wait until the female left the building to use the 'dirty words' in today's email. Those dirty words are 'owed taxes' and 'estimated quarterly taxes.' Yeah. They're really dirty words.The female loves her fans for buying enough o...
Dear humans,The coffee machine is going brrbrrhisssswhrrrburrr. Those are the sounds of "coffee is not yet ready." The female does not like these sounds, because the weather outside is beyond itch inducing, and she needs coffee to deal with this shit...
Dear humans,The female is exhausted. She is posting to the blog as we speak. It will go out soon. She must clean. She is too tired to clean, but she must do it anyway. Grave Humor is putting up a fight. Mostly, the female doesn't want it to end, so s...
Dear humans,The female's brain is gone, and a weekend might be enough to save her. We're not sure yet. She came within a hair of operating the coffee maker without adding any coffee. Nobody would like drinking warm water without flavor in this househ...
