Dear humans,

The female's brain is gone, and a weekend might be enough to save her. We're not sure yet. She came within a hair of operating the coffee maker without adding any coffee. Nobody would like drinking warm water without flavor in this household. (Ew, gross.)

We hope she wakes up soon, or she might try to feed us dog food or something. That would be tragic.

She'd also be mauled, as we do not want to eat dog food.

Princess prefers temptations, if you please.

I prefer gooshie purees of various sea-based lifeforms. If you please. Or even if you don't please.

Later today on the blog, we're going to be doing a Q&A session. Feel free to ask your questions in the comments of this posting. We may answer them on the main blog. We will do so in funny fashions. Otherwise, we're making up questions and answering them, as we feel like doing a Q&A today. It'll be a hoot.

We've been asked a few questions enough times we wish to throw bricks, but the female has informed us we're not allowed to throw bricks, and the best we can do is a Q&A session and hope people stop asking those questions for a period of six months. (The answer might change by then. Maybe. We won't tell you which question is the one in particular that is making her want to throw bricks.)

Nooooo, nobody in the Blain Household is frustrated this morning. Not at all. What gave you that idea? (Please make use of your personal sarcasm font here.)

Okay. Onto the 'note inside about opening our missives' thing. We can has confusion, we're sharing our confusion with you. The sendfox people are super helpful, and we love them... but we can has confusion. We cannot has hamburgers, and this makes us sad right now.

So, this mailing system is a little different from others the female has used before. If you haven't opened an email within a certain period of time, the system automatically assumes you don't want to hear from us anymore and puts you into an inactive users pool. This pool doesn't receive emails. We're not entirely clear on how to get users out of the inactive users pool. We'll be asking the email system senders how that works. Or what the secret handshake is. But if you have been enjoying these, you'll want to make sure you open them. The female really likes that the system is smart enough to automatically stop pestering people who don't want to receive the emails.

We're just not sure if we can get people reactivated if they go into the inactive pool. It could be a black hole. We'll find out soon enough.

Okay. That's that. If you like us, just keep opening us daily, that will make sure you stay with us. If you don't like us, you can just stop opening, and eventually, the system will make you quietly disappear into the inactive pool. We think we might have a way to reach out to you again later, but we aren't sure. If so, we still love you, offer you a purr, but we won't give you chin scritches because humans bleed when we do that, and for some reason, we've noticed you humans don't like that.

Grow some fur, that'll protect your skin.

Please enjoy this picture of me helping the female with book signing and packaging. She was trying to use the bag to store books. My sister and I took turns occupying the bag. We had great fun. She had to find a box to store the books in...

As we're supposed to be funny... we have stolen one of the female's favorite pun chains from Hoofin' It for your enjoyment today.

Another attacker approached, and without bothering to turn, Dad kicked out, catching him with his clawed feet. Blood splashed, and Bai Bao Chen whinnied her approval. Snarling curses my father whipped around and slashed, grabbing hold of his victim’s arm and yanking. “My turn to go clubbing,” he announced, before wading into battle with his new weapon.

“Have I ever told you my father’s armed and dangerous?”

“No,” the kirin replied. “You had not.”

“He is. I’m quite proud of him, just don’t tell him that.”

“As you should be. It was a very skilled disarming of his opponent.”

“Do you think we should give him a hand?”

Bai Bao Chen made a thoughtful noise in her throat, shifted her weight, and bucked, kicking her hind legs out. I twisted in time to watch a head fly into the canal while the man’s body dropped lifeless to the sidewalk. “No, I think he is ahead of the game thus far, but should he need our aid, we will give him a leg up.”

We hope you all are having a great day. Happy reading!

~Zazzle the Beguiling Tyrant