#12–On the other side of the need to prove

#12–On the other side of the need to proveSince I can remember until a couple weeks ago, the Ghost of Compulsive Need to Prove has shaped my behavior.When I was four, my parents left me with some friends for a day. The family of four took me with the...

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Jul 18, 2024
#11–What my father said

#11–What my father saidOne of the readers of this email series, a well-known and highly influential author, is urging me to try to make money off of my writing.She asked me to explore my internal blocks: why do I assume that it's impossible to create...

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Jul 18, 2024
#10–Pain is the messenger

#10–Pain is the messengerIn February of 2024, I opened my metaphorical purse and started paying for courses and programs to learn how to grow my business.I told myself that I'd always been a "subject matter expert" but my business acumen was mediocre...

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Jul 17, 2024
#8–Codependency, shame, and the secrets we keep

#8–Codependency, shame, and the secrets we keepGrowing up in a codependent family, I learned three fundamental patterns:I'm responsible for everyone's emotionsSomeone else is always responsible for my feelingsThere are no clear boundaries between me...

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Jul 15, 2024
#7–The Ghost of Shame, Isolation's best buddy

#7–The Ghost of Misplaced Shame, the Ghost of Isolation's cronyShame hates company and ghosts disappear in the daylight.That's why the Ghost of Misplaced Shame and the Ghost of Isolation work together. Because they know that if you told your truth, y...

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Jul 14, 2024
#5––Time indifference

#5––Time indifferenceWe, compulsive underearners have a strange relationship with time. It's almost like we don't believe in it. Or we don't believe that it passes, at least for us.When we think about the future, we believe anything is possible: I'll...

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Jul 12, 2024
#4––The danger of "I know"

#4––The danger of "I know"I know/I don't know.I've spent my whole life pursuing knowledge. Saying––and thinking––, "I know" was my badge of honor.Whenever I don't know something I'm "supposed" to know, I feel unsure, queasy (I wrote this sentence in...

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Jul 11, 2024
#3––Fear of change

#3––The fear of changing is realHave you ever been so afraid of something that you wished you'd die instead?I have.I was on my way to a meeting that I felt utterly unprepared for and, in the car, I kept fantasizing that a truck would hit me. Dying wo...

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Jul 10, 2024
#2––Change

#2 –– Committing to changeMy family didn't do change well.They ate too much, exercised too little, complained endlessly about their weight... but rarely took action. Because changing would have taken too much effort.What I learned from that pattern w...

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Jul 09, 2024