#205 – What makes you want to understand?

When things don’t go as you expected, do you feel a burning need to know why? Does it seem crucial to understand why undesired events happened?

Well, I have news for you: knowing why something happened won’t make any difference. Things that already happened belong to the past, and nothing can change that.

So, why does it seem so important to know, to understand, to make sense of a past event?

Many of us would say we want to learn from our mistakes, heal, or find closure. But that's just a justification. Truly, it's the Ego, in its President of Risk Management’s hat, that insists on the importance of “knowing.” 

Because, the Ego thinks, when we understand the past, we're able to predict the future and avoid being harmed.

Sort of like, “if Mike acted that way one day and hurt me, he’ll do it again in the future.” So, our Ego thinks, if we know why he acted this way, we can “manipulate” life so he doesn’t do it in the future. 

• If the reason was something we did, we’ll stop doing it. 
• If the reason was he spoke with someone, we’ll keep him away from that person.
• If the reason was his car broke down in the highway, we’ll make sure he takes the car to its regular tune-ups.

In sum, we'll take all the measures to protect ourselves from being harmed by Mike. And who's always behind the desire to self-protect? The Ego – as you already know, self-protection is its only function.

If wanting to understand is an urge of our Ego, what does our True Self want?

Compassion – a different kind of understanding.

The True Self sees that people (including ourselves) have their own Ghosts and Ego nagging at them from inside their heads. It understands that whatever someone did that hurt us was due to things in their own lives that have nothing to do with us.

And it also understands that we (courtesy of the Ego) create our own feelings – of hurt, revenge, regret, resentment...

Where the Ego seeks to control, prevent, and vindicate, the True Self rests in acceptance, empathy, and presence.

Which events in your life will you stop trying to understand?

Love,

Carolina