#208 – What's wrong with self-protection?

Self-protection sounds like a good idea. That's why you buckle up in the car, dress up for cold weather, look both ways when crossing the street.

It's definitely a good idea when talking about the body, a physical organism subject to the laws of physics: bones break, bronchi get infected, pedestrians' bodies get run over by cars.

But when it comes to the mind? Not so.

Psychological self-protection, as you know, is the Ego's job. When in charge, the Ego infuses you with fear and mistrust about anything it considers risky (basically, everything).

It's so persuasive, that you end up believing that the idea to self-protect at all costs comes from you.

And so you start clinging to whatever makes you feel safe: a job (even if you hate it), a relationship (even if it wears you off), or a habit (even if it keeps you stuck).

Because defending you is its job, the Ego makes you feel "under attack." Convinced of it, you strive to avoid harm – rejection, in the Ego's playbook, caused by:

• Imperfection
• Lack of control
• Lack of status or low rank
• Having tried and failed

So you cling and you cling to whatever makes you feel safe, even when it's killing your soul (True Self), minute by minute.

By seeking safety, you're forgoing fulfillment. You choose it because seeking fulfillment involves risk – the Ego's archenemy – but every choice in that direction is one more shovelful in the hole you're digging.

My first job was interviewing alternative rock bands in Madrid in 1986. I was 16 and got paid for each article – with a byline!

But then I felt it was too risky – too much competition and so many writers (the Ego loves a good comparison).

So I turned away from it, seeking safety. And I clung to it, despite all the warning signs ("mehness," lack of success, low return on effort).

Two days ago, I made the decision to seek fulfillment and truth in my life. I put my defenses down and let go of the flimsy branch I was clinging to.

I don't know what life will bring me, but I already notice a difference in myself. I feel more like me, with less interest in posturing as something I'm not.

The true me is stepping up to take charge.

Where in your life do you need to let go of safety and get back in charge?

Love,

Carolina