#204 – What do the Ghosts in your head want for you?

Oftentimes, the energy of an emotion that builds up inside comes with some form of internal commentary: “this is good,” or “this is bad.” “You shouldn’t feel this,” “never cry in public,” “what will they think of you if you ask for help?” 

These comments tell us how we have to – should – judge ourselves for feeling what we feel.

The question is, who’s setting the standards? Who’s declaring what’s right and what’s wrong?

Depending on each one’s life experiences, this omnipresent judging entity is a copy of our caregivers, teachers, or former bosses. Some external authority figure that we felt had power over us when we were younger – and thus powerless. 

Because back then, we indeed needed protection, which came through validation (or lack thereof: “you shouldn’t feel that”), approval (or disapproval: “you’re wrong”), and external guidance (which sometimes felt like quasi-bullying: “who do you think you are to talk like that?”).

The Ego and the Ghosts in your head are remnants of those authority figures.

They still want what they believe is best for you – which they equate to being accepted without question by society. They just don’t know that you’re a fully-fledged adult, with a full-blown intuition and full decision-making powers.

They don’t know that “you’ve got this,” that you can handle life.

That’s why there’s no reason to be angry at the Ghosts, believe their judgments, or follow their instructions. Neither do we need to argue with them or convince them that they’re wrong (the need to do that would come from one of them: the Ghost of Need to Prove). We don’t even have to ask them to leave us alone.

When we merely ignore them, they get bored and go away on their own.

What voices in your head will you ignore so you become a little freer? 

Love,

Carolina