Instagram LogoWe’ve been taught to practice delayed gratification since we were young. “Study first, then you can play.” You can have fun next time… And though there’s a principle in that, I found myself taking it a little too far in my life. More specifically, as a recovering workaholic, I’ve always created rules for myself. Rules that sometimes drain me, instead of instilling discipline. “You can only go out once you feel like you’ve done enough.” (and then I proceed to give myself a list of tasks that are unachievable in that day) Some things, are worth going out for. Some things only happen once, and will be hard to catch a moment just like this. Some things may never have a “next time”… Some things like… ✨ being fully present at a family dinner, engaging in seemingly mindless banter, but really allowing yourself to laugh about the little things that cannot be planned ✨ taking a moment to put a pause in your overthinking, and simply soaking in the wholeness of nature, of the ocean, of the rain ✨ or in my case… saying ‘yes’ to going out last Thursday, on a rare full on snow day in Portland, where I saw actual fluffy falling snow, something I’ve never seen before Because you’ll never feel like you’ve done “enough”. There’s always a next goal, a next project. But you’ll never get the same moment twice. How will you slow down and intentionally enjoy the ✨present moment✨ this weekend? ps: here’s me posing with snowman number 2 and 3 that I’ve brought to this world 🤩
Instagram LogoIs there anyone in your life now that you fear to speak to in a calm, confident way? With any shift in eyes, or casual comment passed, you find yourself making conclusions of how they may think of you -- "They're keeping such a straight face, maybe they think I don't sound smart enough." I can't tell you the number of times I've pre-judged someone because of the way they look, the way they sound, or the position they hold, before getting to know them further. And if I allowed that pre-judgement to stop me from having deeper conversations with people, I would not have met my closest friends, my best clients, nor had my most unforgettable conversations. Here's the interesting thing: Your fear/pre-judgement of someone is likely due to these few reasons: 1. They have a similar vibe with someone you used to fear before 2. You subconsciously follow the beliefs or rules you've been taught about this particular type of person. Very often, THESE are the reasons you find yourself immediately freezing up when you're speaking to these people. You start rationalising "yea, it makes sense that I shouldn't speak up during this meeting, other people are more experienced", but really, it's because you've held the belief that "People with more experience has more right to speak up, as opposed to me". You've held these, or similar beliefs for so long. And in order to change the way you show up and speak up, you’ll need to start understanding where these beliefs come from and act outside of it. From today onwards, if there's anything you're afraid to do, or anyone you're afraid to speak to, ask yourself - Why? Why am I afraid? What is my real fear? What belief or rule am I holding on to? And finally, is it still true for me? What is one small step I can take to act outside this belief and start rewriting it? btw, here's a "Win" shared by a coachee of mine, who used to hold on to this "unspoken rule" of "Don't speak to higher-ups unless spoken to". She took a small but extremely courageous step to act outside that belief, and received an amazing response :) THIS is what we do in your Own Your Voice Coaching Journey. 🧡