NOT BREAKING NEWS: Joe Manchin is a jackass

Whelp, for anybody paying attention, it was no surprise that Joe Manchin, Senator of the 2nd poorest state in the US, said out loud (finally) that he just couldn't vote for President Biden's Build Back Better bill.It seems he'd miss the millions he r...

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Dec 21, 2021
The GRIFT is on [SPECIAL EDITION]

See those [brackets] in the Subject: line? Supposedly, those draw attention and magically make you open emails.It's a fact! Or a fiction. Who knows?What I *do* know is grifting has become America's new favorite pastime. Read all about it in today's e...

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Dec 17, 2021
UPDATE: The News is broken.

Today, I regret to inform you that life has gotten in the way and I won't be publishing a Morning Sixpack. It may be an Afternoon Sixpack, but don't count on it.I'm tired. And too much going on. I blame Christmas.Or Q-Anon. Or #TFG. He's always the B...

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Dec 16, 2021
It would help if I linked out to the site!

Yesterday was a really bad day for #TFG. A federal judge that he appointed ruled that he had to turn over his tax returns to Congress, it was reported that not only his accountant but also his former banker at Deutsche Bank are both talking to prosec...

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Dec 15, 2021
STAY HOME TODAY (Baby it's cold outside)

You disappoint me. Only 6 out of every 10 of you opened my last email. Sad. Just joshin' ya! The above stat is true, but I love you anyway.In today's news, you may hear about "Log4j," some sort of computer thingy that's seriously broken and wreaking...

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Dec 14, 2021
Mother Nature hates the South [PLUS more news about...]

Clickbait, here I come!After fully 70 percent of y'all opened my last email, I feel like a new man! (Newsman?)But enough about me and my copywriting skillz...The clown car is falling apart, it seems. Mark Meadows will be getting arrested before Chris...

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Dec 13, 2021
#TFG is getting DRILLED

Cue SCOTUS, they're going to be inundated with cases from #TFG. He apparently doesn't want any of his White House documents released to the January 6 Commission.Too f3$@ bad, right?Welp, there's a really good reason he chose the three SCOTUS justices...

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Dec 10, 2021
So there was this camel beauty pageant...

You have got to "drink" the sixth "bottle" of today's Morning Sixpack. I won't give it away (except for that headline, yo!).In other news, it looks like we're sending a LOT of $$$ and supplies to Ukraine to push back against a mounting Russian presen...

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Dec 10, 2021
"I plead the Fifth"

In case you haven't heard, the rats on #TFG's Titanic are choosing to invoke the Fifth Amendment, which is hilarious since Trump (at least once) said, "The mob pleads the fifth. If you aren't guilty, why plead the fifth?"Yeah, there's a quote for eve...

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Dec 08, 2021