I call it the StarDate…a note I send to share what’s on my heart and mind these days. Thanks for reading! To share with a friend: http://ReflectivePractice.space

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive. Because what the world needs most is more people who have come alive.”

~ Howard Thurman

StarDate 17 Mar 2024

Year 6, Note 7 “an end”

Hi.

Well, if I do my math right (shhhhhh, don’t tell Gail, I’m doing math!), this will be the next-to-last StarDate - formally known as The Note - I’ll send you while living in Montgomery, AL. I wrote the first one back in January of 2019...and, I'll keep goin' from time to time.

The subject line isn’t about the end of us living here (that’s next weekend). Instead, it’s a call to wonder…

…to let our minds wander.

What happens…at an end?

Last summer, Jodi and I took a trip to our New York City. It was our first trip since Oct 2019. Going in, it was bittersweet… that visit was the last time I saw my mentor, Frances Hesselbein.

And, it was the longest stretch of not visiting New York City since my first trip in 1997. In fact, between 2005 and 2019, I was in “my” City 70-100 nights a year.

So, when we returned after a nearly 3 year break (yeah...COVID-19), we were going to make the most of it. Dinners. And shows. Seeing friends. Walking 40-60 blocks a day. Yup… we did it all.

One dinner in particular stands out. (I wrote about it last week.) It took 8 months of reflection and reading a book to gain a deeper level of meaning. Last week, I read Unreasonable Hospitality and learned more about the restaurant where Jodi and I made memories: Eleven Madison Park.

“An End.”

Before I write (just a bit) about the ending of that dinner, I challenge you to think about the next thing you’re inviting people to. A meeting. An event. Conference. Party. Celebration. “A conversation.” (You know, one of THOSE “we-need-to-talk” ones….)

Have you thought through how an end to that next thing you'll host? And not just your ending, but theirs‽

That night in June, our transaction was over after nearly 4 hours of an evening I’ll remember forever. After a kitchen tour, reading the 11 principles (on brand, huh?) of the restaurant, and getting a last few photos, we embarked on our walk. Sure, we stepped outside onto Madison…

However...the experience wasn’t over. It was not “an end.”.

But first, a back story.

Reading Unreasonable Hospitality (TEDx talk here), I learned that the “going away” gift at EMP used to be a cannoli dipped in beeswax. Fancy, delicate, fragile, and lasted MAYBE until the next morning, if it made it home at all.

Apparently, the folks at the restaurant had meetings about that. I imagine there were big discussions, maybe some disappointment, perhaps even dissent, and a lot of descriptions of “what could be.”

While I may never know what the QUESTION was, I experienced the my ANSWER:

Two beautiful, glass, filled-to-the-rim containers of granola.

With the EMP logo stamped on the side.

While a part of me wishes I could have been in the room when they thought of granola as the answer so I could know EXACTLY what they asked…I’ll pretend I am a know-it-all and give the question that I lived the answer to:

How do we reduce the likelihood that the Womacks' experience ends the night they eat dinner with us?

Here’s what happened:

Jodi and I enjoyed one of the jars of granola over the next week back at home in Alabama. Another jar made it all the way to my parents’ house, and they got to share in “the end” of a dinner that we enjoyed - that they weren’t even at! - weeks before.

Here’s a challenge to us all:

• Open a calendar to a month or so out.
• Find something that is scheduled.
• Ask, “How do we reduce the likelihood that at the end…it’s ”the" end‽

As I end my time in Montgomery, it seems fitting to quote civil rights leader Mr. Thurman. While I don’t know exactly what “the end” of our lives in Alabama looks like, I know that I’m not done serving yet. The US Air Force that brought us to Maxwell and the US Space Force I now serve have given me so much since I took the oath on 22 January 2019.

The question I'm asking myself:

How do I reduce the likelihood that “an end” is not THE end?

If you’re reading this and have an idea of how you might do this, hit reply. I'd like to know about it!

I’m not done.

While this is "an" end, it's not "the" end.

Much love,

JW

PS: Don't know if you're on MarcoPolo. It is my FAVORITE app on my entire iPhone. I use it for staying in touch, for coaching AND mentoring, and now we've got the #Connectation sharecast. Join here...

PPS: I presented my third TEDx on Friday... will share the video as soon as I can!