I call it the StarDate…a note I send to share what’s on my heart and mind these days. Thanks for reading! To share with a friend: http://ReflectivePractice.space

“Specificity is a crucial ingredient. The more focused and particular a gathering is, the more narrowly it frames itself and the more passion it arouses.”

- Priya Parker

Year 6, Note 6…sent from Alabama

Our tour of the South will conclude within a month. Growing up, I never dreamed of moving to this part of the country.

Today, I can’t imagine my life without this experience. I call it my crucible; a searching test.

And, I passed. 

Now, it wasn’t an exam I could have studied for, nor was there one specific day where I’d make or break the experience. Instead, it was a series of moments that made me the NEW me I am. I know some people are chewing me on, and I often reflect on my mentoring from Frances.

She would have told me that I was where I needed to be. 

She would also tell me to serve with all I’ve got. And, that’s the next door I have to open. The door I have to open. I do mean that both ways…

I have to... and, I have to.

Yesterday, I wrote my daily thank you card to 11 Madison, the restaurant Jodi and I ate at last summer. A dream come true to be in a place known throughout the world. It was my third time there, but it was the first time (1) with Jodi and (2) since the kitchen stopped serving any meat. 

Last month I did that thing you’ve known me for where I spent 15 hours studying something. Besides maintaining my health, taking on new work projects, and chipping away at my Air War College distance learning classes, I read the book “Unreasonable Hospitality.” I watched some videos, listened to podcasts, and re-read my LeaderBook notes from our week in New York City last June. (The same week, I was walking down Park Avenue, and as Jodi and I walked under Frances’ old office, I looked up, and there was Gen Raymond! #Serendipity #SemperSupra.)

It was unforeseen that Jodi and I would move to Montgomery. Looking back, we are LIVING the TED speech that Steve Jobs gave at Stanford. 

“You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.”

If I’d known then what I know now…

That’s not a game I play.

I hope you won’t either. No amount of information will be enough “here” to decide “there.” I take what I have, I do all the Decision Making “things” I know to do, and I move out.

And, I move on. 

The journey IS the destination.

Looking back on the 314 days since joining the US Space Force, I know I have grown…and I have a long way to go. What I’ve done up to now is what got me a seat at this table. And my memory of what it took to get here is about as flawed as any one person's subjective reflection could be. 

That evening at 11 Madison, I’ll remember (my version of) it for a long, long time. In the four thank you cards I included in that envelope yesterday (that's how many people I had to thank!), I shared how special it was to be in their space…receiving the abundance of UNnecessary, UNimaginable, UNreasonable Hospitality*. 

If you read the book about 11 Madison, or watch some videos, or treat yourself to a dinner you’ll always remember (your way!), you’ll hear the words I heard. What stood out to me, and what I will bring to my job in my second year, is that the leaders realized early on that they were not going to compete on the commodity of “food” and its presentation. 

Instead, they would obsess over the sourcing, service, and surprise of being in another world. 

That three-hour dinner was with every penny. I’d do it again in a heartbeat. More than that, the experience has made me ask:

What will we differentiate ourselves on?

Anyone can bring “development” to an organization. The easy button would be for me to go study competency frameworks, internship/externship agreements mentoring programs, and coaching programs and “just” do what they do. 

We’ll do…of course, that’s what is required. 

But, we will be…and have, as well. You remember, I’ve talked about the other ends of that plank…the “doing” is always the fulcrum, the point in the middle that keeps everything in the air. Too much being, we don’t achieve the having. To much having, and we move away from our being. 

So, stand on that fulcrum point. Look down at your “do” list. Then, to the left:

Is this my being?

Then to the right. 

Will it lead to us having?

Me? I’ll continue focusing on the unreasonable. It, in fact, is necessary. To me. 

Love you,

JW

PS: We will be driving across Highway 10 between 6-13 April. If you’re along the way, let’s have coffee one morning! 

*- here’s the Blinkist summary: https://www.blinkist.com/books/unreasonable-hospitality-en?utm_source=bk_ios&utm_medium=bk_referral&utm_campaign=book%253Acover&utm_content=643fdc1c9c88930008b8b816&referral_token=b350d5f41d8e

** - I tried to get into this course on #leadership…next time: 

https://www.blinkist.com/guides/transform-leadership-a-decentralized-approach-with-dr-jason-womack