Hi ,
This weeks topic can be quite a sensitive one, so if you grew up with an alcohol addicted parent, please read with care 💜
Before we dive in, I want to share a quick framing note: what used to be called alcoholism is now officially referred to as Alcohol Use Disorder (AUD). I mention this because terms like COA or ACOA (Child of an Alcoholic or Adult Child of an Alcoholic) are still widely used, but some people find the word "alcoholic" a bit outdated or heavy. I'll be using these terms interchangeably today, so please hold whichever words resonate best with you.
This topic is deeply personal to me...as an adult child of an alcoholic, this was my everyday reality growing up. My dad lived with severe addiction throughout my childhood and beyond, which sadly led to his premature death at just 50 years old...
When I was little, it felt like my mum, my siblings, and I were living with a Jekyll and Hyde character. When sober, I remember him enjoying gardening and loving nature, but sadly I don't remember much else about his true personality. When he was drunk, however, his behaviour could be unpredictable, intense, and scary...
He spent a significant amount of our household money on alcohol, meaning we also experienced poverty. But the thing that stayed with me most was the overwhelming feeling that he chose alcohol over his family. In my young mind, that translated into a belief that he didn't love us...or that we simply weren't enough...
It took me a long time to reach a place of acceptance...to realise that he was dealing with his own emotional challenges. But even with that understanding, the experience left me with trauma and long-standing self-worth issues that I've had to gently untangle in adulthood.
If you grew up around AUD or addiction, you might recognise some of these patterns in your own life...
Feeling like you constantly need to "scan the room" for shifting moods
Always waiting for things to go wrong, even when life feels calm
Taking on the job of keeping the peace for everyone else
Struggling with deep self-worth issues or feeling "enough"
Finding it really hard to ask for help or rely on others
Feeling intense guilt whenever you try to set a simple boundary
Needing extra control over your day or environment to feel safe
Trying to balance compassion for your parent with the reality of your own hurt
Healing these deep-seated patterns takes time, gentleness, and the right tools. I am currently thinking about creating a dedicated EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) tapping series specifically designed to help support adult children of alcoholics as we process trauma, rebuild self-worth, and find calm.
Before I build it, I want to listen to you, :
Does any of this resonate with your own story?
Would an EFT series tailored to this specific type of healing be helpful to you?
Please hit reply and let me know your thoughts or share a piece of your journey if you feel comfortable. I read every single message, and I'm so grateful for any shared experiences or feedback about this sensitive topic 🙏🩵
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Do let me know if an EFT series for adult children of alcoholics would be helpful for you. As a reminder, you can reply to this email with your experiences or thoughts around this topic.
However this email finds you today, please be extra gentle with yourself 💜
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