Instagram LogoWhen you people please, it’s another ADHD mask of protection to help you fit in Past trauma, self-esteem, and fear of rejection are just a few of the reasons we people please. How do I know how this? Because I used to say yes to taking on clients when inside I meant no… people pleaser sign I would change my outfit whenever my partner (now ex) would say that my clothes weren’t appropriate… people pleaser sign I would look at my calendar and realise only 10% of the things that featured on it were actually moving my life goals forward…a major people pleaser sign! I am a recovering people pleaser Being a people pleaser was actually doing me more harm than good But it was a survival mechanism to feel accepted by others And if you’re reading this then you know that this is what is happening to you too, here’s the good news, you are going to learn how to stop being a people-pleaser Because everything is trainable Here are the 3 few tips using clarity, choice and calm: 1. GET CLARITY ON YOUR PRIORITIES When you get clarity on what is important to you and how it adds meaning and value your life, it get’s a whole lot easier to say no to other people’s agendas. Your no list is really a yes list to you, which will help others on a bigger scale! 2. SAY “CAN I GET BACK TO YOU” When you give yourself time to think about whether you can fulfil the request of another person, you give yourself a chance to make better decisions. When we stretch ourselves thin we stress ourselves out, does it make sense to be stressed to make another person happy? 3. REPEAT BACK THERE REQUEST Chris Voss Masterclass on Negotiation is one of my top 3 masterclasses. Here’s one of Chris’s golden nuggets of wisdom…Asking a why-question actually triggers a defensive, accusatory response. Meanwhile, what and how helps a person feel they are in control. Here are some examples… 😁 How am I supposed to do that? 😁 What’s going to happen if I do that? 😁 How do I overcome the challenges that I have here? They are the same question, asking from 3 different angles, which in turn triggers empathy Found this post useful, press that heart icon and follow @theruthellen for more ADHD support