16 Jun 2023 sent from 34,000 feet, via American Airlines

"The Note"…sharin' what I'm thinkin' about with you

Happy Father’s Day to those of you who are and/or have fathers.

Y.5 N.10 - What Not to Say

(There are three #Important lines throughout this episode of “The Note.”)

Hi there

Jodi and I spent 6 full days in our second city; the town I was in about a week a month from 2001-2018. It seems like another lifetime ago. What I know now is we made the right choice in clicking “pause” on the consulting/coaching work we were doing so that I could teach at Air University in Montgomery, AL. Over the past week (while early celebrating our 24^th wedding anniversary) we spent time dreaming about our next adventure…and an upcoming move!

We went to dinner at 11 Madison and got a tour of the kitchen!

You know that I have been thinking, writing, talking, and teaching about #connection for a while now. Just today, I found what I was looking for: The 7^th Connection. I knew when I started this that the list would grow, and in keeping with a mentor I never met but learned oh-so-much from, I was searching for 7. Right now, I’m playing with the concept: Seven Connections to Develop.

On Connection

Sure, I could elongate the title: The Secret Seven Connections of a Highly Effective Workplace Culture. But, the magic – so far – of this philosophy is in its simplicity. There are seven. Connections. To Develop. I’ll be writing (a lot) more about these over the next months; yes, I’m seeing a book on the horizon.

It is my belief that the people I work around don’t just want to know the WHAT; they want more than just the problem/significance/proof/anecdotes.

They want the HOW to go about addressing it.

They want the WHO is doing it well as an example of leadership.

They want the WHEN that comes in the form of a checklist.

They want the WHERE of applying this information (important #1: it works at work, AND it works at home).

What I know for sure is if we were to strengthen these connections, things would get better. What I know about getting stronger is that I need to work the muscle, sometimes to fatigue, for the stress to make its impact. Strain the muscle. Relax the muscle. Rest the muscle. Reflect on the workout. Do it all again.

Important #2: You’ll see up above I went through “most” of the W’ questions but I left one out: “Why?”

I put off talking about that for as long as I can. If I do it right, I don’t address it at all.

It’s my opinion that the “why?” prompt has been played out.

As you’re following along, the seventh connection to develop that I’ve added (and, I’m focused on staying at 7 for now!) is:

7. The Future

MTF (more to follow) in an upcoming “The Note”

What Not to Say

Ok, now it’s “rant time.”

Last week, I attended an online panel discussion hosted by a senior (retired) leader. This person facilitated an hour-long discussion between four participants. In the introduction, I feel like the moderator showed how out of touch with modern business practices they were.

How?

They introduced each person one at a time, and at the fourth panelist started the introduction by saying, “And last but not least.”

Read those 5 words again:

And

Last

But

Not

Least

Why, in 2023, would anyone put those five words in that order when they are about to highlight the contributions and experiences of the next person on the panel?

It would be like me walking up to the microphone in front of a group at 15303:30pm and starting my session by saying something stupid like,

“I know I’m the only thing between you and happy hour, but I need to get through this briefing before you leave for the day.”

(Which, incidentally, I heard at the start of a program I attended last month!)

“Last but not least.”

What comes to your mind when you hear those words? What do you feel? What do you expect of or from that panelist or speaker?

I can think of at least four reasons NEVER AGAIN to say “last but not least” when highlighting someone you introduce.

1.   Be Equitable. Is there a ranking? Are you highlighting the value of the information or contribution of the panelists in a diminishing order? (I’d be curious about your intention if you are ranking the contributors.) I assume that each person on a panel is there because they complete a part of the puzzle. Therefore, all are equally necessary.

2.   Build Perception: Putting a “but” in front of anything causes the unconscious to kick in. I can say, “It’s easy to build people up when you’re introducing them, but…” and your mind is now looking for new information, information to conflict with what I just said. If you want to position the next person on the panel as an equal expert, just start the introduction the same way you did for the previous ones. “This is _________, and they ___________.”

3.   Support Teamwork: If the moderator creates hierarchy – if even subtle and unconscious – early in the panel, I’d wonder if it impacts the flow of the discussion among the group. We’re talkin’ about microscopic influences on interaction and collaboration that is oh-so-important to the success of the program. If you’re the moderator, do everything possible to build everyone up.

4.   Be Professional: Ok, now I’m going to lay out all my cards. Important #3: this is just my opinion. The moderator was a retired military senior leader, a white male. The panelists were all younger, active-duty, females. I don’t want to debate whether or not the facilitator would have introduced a group of four male aviators and said, “Last but not least,” at the end; I simply am writing it out to say I noticed it.

I’d say the most honorific thing that can be done is to introduce each person as professionally as possible, ensuring that each person is uniquely profiled in a positive and uplifting way, in a way that the audience can focus on AND that puts the panelist in the limelight as the expert they are.

Instead of using "Last but not least," you can introduce each leader by focusing on their unique contributions, experiences, or roles without implying any ranking or order.

Emphasizing their collective strengths and the diversity they bring to the team can foster a positive and inclusive environment.

 Sending much love from 34,000 feet!

JW

PS: Call/Text/MarcoPolo anytime, my mobile# is 805-798-1362.

Upcoming Writing Group, You’re Invited

The “there” I see is not what I’m experiencing here. The problem is, it’s not a movie but a series of random, unorganized, still pictures. 

It’s why I write. 

You?

Do you have an opinion of how things could be? Want to write them down?

Please join our 30-day writing sprint.

Register —>

https://docs.google.com/presentation/d/1EKYLEgp8-9VUKa35OKGwz_qhCVi1WxoCYqzkl1nGjeU/edit

PS: If you wanna talk about strengthening the 7 connections, I will always find time on my calendar. If you want your team to discuss these, I am building a discussion guidebook to help facilitate the discussions. Stay tuned:

Seven Connections to Develop

Self

Mission

Others

Context

Tradition

Partnerships

Future