Y(ear).4 N(ote).15 - The Note "...just someone I haven't met yet"
Sep 04, 2022 3:54 pm
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The next few weeks...remind me of my "old" life!
Integrated Resilience Summer Summit
--> 6-9 Sep: San Antonio, TX
Project Mercury Jump Start
--> 10-16 Sep: Novato, CA
Air and Space Forces Association Conference
--> 18-23 Sep: Wash DC (National Harbor)
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As always... click reply and let me know what you're thinkin' 'bout these days. Share "The Note" with friends: http://ReflectivePractice.space
Y.4 N.15 "...just someone I haven't met yet"
4 Sep 2022
Hiya ,
Next Wednesday through Friday, I will do the most important work I've been called to do yet. This... on the heels of graduating a group of amazing leaders from our LDC course last Thursday:
Next week, I'll meet more than 100 leaders - from around the world - who will gather and talk about heavy, challenging, and even indescribable topics. All with our focus on a future that looks - and feels - better than the present.
Everything I've done for the past 20 years has set this plan in motion. For three days, I will get to walk on stage 11 times to look out into the eyes - and see the hearts - of wonderful humans being, the people who are making positive change possible.
Here I am back in 1995... IN the arena with my kiddos.
Just Haven't Met Yet
When I moved to MGM, I began using the phrase "Friend" a lot more.
I now end most phone calls by saying, "I love you." Coincidentally, I share that feeling at the ends of most speeches/programs I facilitate. When I meet you for the first time, and as I see you walk past me or stand in line beside you, I will address you as a friend...someone I just haven't met yet.
Friend: a person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection.
To that last word, I'm going to add another word: Respect.
I start by assuming that you and I are both in the same space, and hold a focus that the future we are heading toward is better than the past we are living. Now, I realize that the future YOU see and the one that I see can absolutely be different. But - and, yes, I just said "but" right there - I assume that BOTH of our visions stem from a sentiment/feeling of:
- "Let us take care of ourselves so that we can take care of others."
- "Let us practice the platinum rule; the golden one has played itself out."
A friend?
Just someone I haven't met yet. And, I know I'll do what I can to take care of me - get my basic needs (thanks Maslow!) met - so that when we DO meet I'm more available to see and hear you, and gain a feeling of where you're comin' from; and, where you're goin'.
When we DO meet, I'll ask you questions - just be ready for that. I wanna know what YOU need to be YOU. I want to know how YOU want to be treated; not treat you like I want to be treated.
We're just too different for that.
Connections
I've got an article, a personality assessment, three books, and my Moleskine on my desk off to my left. I'll share a bit of what I think when I put them all together!
- It's our most challenging times (Bennis and Thomas, 2002) that solidify what it is we expect and accept. In the HBR article, Bennis and Thomas (2002) write that we can come together better by identifying shared meaning through the realization that context drives behavior. Ask someone where they got the idea they hold so dearly. Then, listen...closer.
- "Imagine this is the first time we are thinking this way...about this thing." Above the mirror inside the front cover of my Moleskine is that quote. As I built the framework for the upcoming event, I looked at myself, smiled, and asked, "Why this...why now?" That there was the answer.
- In his recently published book, Wilde (2022) recommends that leaders become more coachable by valuing the growth mindset of personal development AND asking for meaningful, specific, and actionable feedback toward goal achievement.
- Jackson and Parry (2018) identified specific factors (they called them qualities) that go into the act of moving from simply studying leadership to implementing change. The fourth (resilience) and fifth (aspiration) qualities are directly applied to the work that we're doing to move from transacting to transforming. (I found a short video on this here: https://youtu.be/x2CH7Puyg0c).
I'll spend the rest of the day looking to make more connections between these ideas and all those to come. But, for now... I'm heading to the Peloton. I've got a couple of workouts lined up!
Much love from MGM,
Dr. JW
PS: I've got access to TWO (2) new-to-me personality assessments. I can get you access as well if you're Air Force/Space Force. Here's my proposal:
- Take the assessments (both)
- Review the results
- Let's meet (via zoom) on 14 Sep, 6:00pm/1800 Central for an hour. Hit reply if you're in...
References
Bennis, W. and Thomas, R. (2002). Crucibles of Leadership. Harvard Business Review, September 2002. https://hbr.org/2002/09/crucibles-of-leadership
Jackson, B. and Parry, K. (2018). A Very Short, Fairly Interesting and Reasonably Cheap Book About Studying Leadership. SAGE.
Wilde, K. (2022). Coachabiility: The Leadership Superpower. Pond Reads Press.