The more I think about "The Seven Connections," the more apparent seeing, accepting, and cheering on the leader in the mirror becomes.

25 Jun 2023 from Montgomery

"The Note"…sharin' what I'm thinkin’ feelin’ about with you

If you want to share "The Note," just send this URL to folks...

25 Jun 23

Y.5 N.11 – Connect With Self...First

Hi there…

In 10 days, Jodi and I get to celebrate anniversary #24; not only is 2023 going quickly, but how on Earth have we been married for nearly a quarter of a century?!

Here is what is on my heart after an amazing week of pre-anniversary celebration in New York City:

“What do I get to be a part of over the next 25 years?”

More and more, I’m settling into this #Connection thing.

As I do every Sunday, I spent an hour dialing in the next seven days. The way I do it is to ask myself a question that brings it from 25 years to just seven days.

Here it is:

“168 hours from now, what will I wish was done?”

Too often, people hear me talk about connection, and assume I’m jumping to the third in a list of Seven. As I shared with a group of Veteran leaders last Friday, I'm not jumping from 0 to 3. Instead, I'll go in order; talking about 1 and then 2 and then...the list goes on.

(Click this google sheet link, you'll see I'm fillin' in that Literature Matrix to identify books, articles, podcasts, videos, websites and more...and I could use your help!)

Connection to Self

What I know is this: Unless I’m connected with my own #Self, AND I feel a connection to what it is I do here (the #Mission), I guard how connected I will let myself get to others.

My favorite "connection to self" activity: Open a notebook, and write...

In Columbus, Ohio, Doug, Tim and I helped a group practice the kind of connection we believe in. It was awesome to encourage this self-connection first, then connection to a mission, before asking them to connect with one another!

Think about this when you talk with someone; could be a family member, co-worker, friend, or someone you just met. As you two are talking, do what I do:

Listen attentively and ask yourself how you feel.

Use questions like:

• How is the energy between us?
• What am I projecting onto them?
• Am I accepting them as they are?
• What emotion am I feeling? 

Feel what happens when you wonder how your emotions are kicking in as you’re talking together.

Two Video Interviews

Watch the next :37 seconds of this interview with Rocky* and feel what happens when he connects to himself: https://youtu.be/dFlybZL1mWE?t=433.

Did you catch what he said?

Here’s the most important part:

“... as I'm stepping out of the trailer, I passed this mirror and said, "All right now you gonna do it or are you gonna sit here and become a bum for the rest of your life? Are you into the character? Are you the character?" And someone outside said, “Alright, Sylvester, let's go.” I said, “No, no, you got the name wrong it's Rocky.” 

(*You noticed I wrote “interview with Rocky” and not “with Stallone.” Now you know why.)

Next, watch the next :37 seconds of this interview with Lanny Bassham https://youtu.be/N8rdfppSMuo?t=972 (Bassham is a fav book of mine of all time, one of his books is a book I Wouldn’t Work Without.)

Did you hear what he said?

Here’s what I heard that made me sit up straight:

"But I knew one thing I came home was one good thing that happened there was that I knew that I didn't have a mental game at all.”

As I contemplate the Seven Connections, the importance of self-talk, self-trust, and self-acceptance deeply resonates with me. It goes beyond surface-level understanding and calls for a vulnerable exploration of my inner landscape.

As you reflect on these connections - listed in the first spreadsheet, left-hand side here  - please send me ANY resources you find to help me dive deeper into the academic research and popular psychology of this framework. (The second tab down there is what I’m working to fill over the next month.

Bookmark it, and review it often. If you see something there – or not there – that you relate to, let me know!)

You Can Count On Me 

Friday, I got to share the stage with my friend Doug as we facilitated connection and conversation for the Fellows in the National Veteran’s Leadership Forum, 2023. As I flew yesterday, I continued to write in my passport… my goal was to continue the momentum we started together!

I recognize the significance of self-trust—the unwavering belief in my abilities, instincts, and intuition. Trusting myself requires embracing uncertainty and honoring the wisdom within. Connecting with self is where commitment - practicing committing - is strengthened...or falls apart. As my coach back in the 1990's taught me,

"Just get up when you said you would the night before. Keep the little agreements purposefully."

My commitment to self shows up in little things that I hold to…such as ending on time!

We had until 1800 to work with the folks we served;

check out this time hack! 

In essence, exploring self-talk, self-trust, and self-acceptance becomes an intimate and sacred journey, leading me toward a deeper connection with myself. It is only through this inner connection that I can discover the strength, resilience, and profound wisdom within, enabling me to navigate life's challenges with grace and authenticity.

This means I both embrace all aspects of myself, both light and shadow, without judgment or resistance. With self-acceptance as my guide, I create a safe and nurturing space for growth, allowing myself to unfold authentically and unapologetically.

As you reflect on the seven connections - listed in the first spreadsheet, left-hand side here - please forward me ANY resources you find to help me dive deeper into the academic research and popular psychology of this framework.

Reach out anytime… text/MarcoPolo/email/phone.

Much love,

JW

PS: To those of you who want the real-deal mentoring you might be able to get, find someone up the chain from you that you can find who will be 100% candid with you about what they are doing to connect to themselves…first.

Here’s how Lanny did it: https://youtu.be/N8rdfppSMuo?t=1046