Y.4 N.6 “Connection...or Separation. We kinda have to decide right now.” (From Montgomery, AL)
Jun 26, 2022 9:53 pm
26 Jun 2022 sent from Montgomery, AL
The Note: My thoughts sent to your inbox. Yes, your friends can read too: https://sendfox.com/jw
Y(ear).4 N(ote).6: “Connection...or Separation.
We kinda have to decide right now.”
Hello
I've been here at my desk for a couple of hours. Reading a bit. Watching some. Listening. I put a post on my Facebook page that has me checking my phone about every 10 minutes; what my friends are sharing with me is blowing my mind.
You know me and how I work. I ask questions. A lot of questions. It used to get me "too much" attention. Sometimes at school, or with my friends, or at home.
I was always asking things like:
- "Why?" and
- "What do you expect?" and
- "Who?" and
- "When do we do something different?"
That last one always gets me.
Over the weekend, I drafted the one-page Bio Sheet that will go up in the hallway at LDC. (I'll send a copy if you want!) There, I wrote who I am. What I've done. What I believe in. What I will stand for, and what I will stand up to.
Over the past two days, I have been pondering three questions I wrote on the whiteboard in my office last Friday when I returned from Orlando. After four days at the Disney Institute, having spent two weeks away from home, and now that I'm six weeks since graduation with the Doctorate, I'm wondering:
- Can I take the good with the bad?
- Can I look for what I want when there is stuff I don't like?
- Can I hold two distinct - nay, opposing - thoughts at the same time?
You know I say we need connection.
And, on the surface, you'd think I'm talkin' about connection to other people.
That's true; I mean, Will talks about it … and, for your SA at the end of this clip, I did cry: https://youtu.be/7Urqg0Krm0A?t=811 (BTW: You might have to review those three questions once you see who's talking in that video.)
NOTE: that connection is just one of (at least) four I'm talking about these days.
And, with the separation I'm seeing, I'm even more bullish on standing for connection. Here's what's on my mind and heart these days, combining some of what I walked away with from the Disney Institute experience.
1. Connection to self.
In my programs, I challenge leaders to "check themselves out" the next time they walk by a reflective surface. If you can do this now, do it. Open your camera on your phone, go to selfie mode, and look at yourself. Ask, "How are you?" and listen long enough until you give yourself an answer.
It hit me hard yesterday that there are quite a few people out there leading us who see themselves as they were, as things were, as others were. That's just one of the time zones. There are two more… who I am and who I'll be. They say that change is the only constant? Leave it to Walt to frame it in a way that I understand:
"Disneyland will never be completed. It will continue to grow as long as there is imagination left in the world."
2. Connection to one another.
Are you at home reading this? Or, out and about? If you can, look over and find a window. Now, look out the window. Still with me? Do you see everything that's possible out that window? Find another detail… and one more. Now – if you're able – move closer to the pane. If you dare, put your nose right up against it. Look out. To the right, the left, down, and up. Here's my question: Do you see more?
That's an easy one, right? Yes, I will see more of you if I get closer to you. If I pause longer, listen harder, look more, and hold my opinion for another sentence or two, you might share something more profound with me. And, we don't have to be in person. Yesterday, I sent a Marco Polo to 17 of my friends, all women. So far, many have replied. They've all had something different to say, something additive – this is why I left that FB post up, asking women to share with me – but there was one commonality among five. To maintain confidentiality, I'm not going to write it here.
But, know I'm reeling backward with how much I don't know. I grew up going to Disneyland for most of my childhood; Walt summed it up this way:
"We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we're curious, and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths."
3. Connection to process.
If you've been in one of my classes over the past few years, you know that I ask people up to four questions during our time together. Not a single question gets answered when we are together; in fact, the questions I ask are questions we need to ask ourselves constantly. For the rest of our lives.
One of those questions gets after the "How?" of things. At some point, you need to answer the How? question. Sometimes more than once. Sometimes, in different ways to different people.
I look at HOW I do what I do, and at the core – under the surface – it's all the same. But, like anything else, the process will look different according to the eye of the beholder. "How do we do things around here?" What a great question to ask. In the answers to that question, you can get after things like organizational culture, psychological safety, efficiency and productivity, and even recruitment, advancement, and retention.
Here's the thing: "How we used to do things can't – it simply CAN NOT – be the way we can expect to do things." Another thing I'm saying a lot lately: "Our Airmen, Guardians, Soldiers, Sailors, and Marines of 2040 are being born this year."
And, if you're not in the military and reading this, substitute your front line. And, look around at the world our newborns are inheriting. Most definitely, Walt knew something we need to remember:
"I always like to look on the optimistic side of life, but I am realistic enough to know that life is a complex matter."
4. Connection to mission.
Stop it with the starting with why. Just. Stop. All the clichés come into conflict with it. Beyond Why? is So that… The product-of-the-product, as I like to say.
- They don't care how much you know, until they know how much you care.
- Trust is the hardest thing to build, and the easiest to break.
- The most beautiful sound in any language: Your name.
- A basic human need: To belong.
About 15 years ago, I was facing an especially depressive period. Some things in my life were on the ropes, and I found myself wondering… Thank goodness I had the tools, the relationships, and the time to get out of the funk, and back to my life. And, the crazy thing? It wasn't my WHY that drove me to want to re-engage.
It was a "What?" So, this is where I will challenge those of you who think your people need a reason. I think they have it. They woke up, got to where they needed to be, and were ready to do their thing. Sell it. Clarify the "there" you see out in the distance, and fire them up by asking them to build THEIR vision of what's out there. Oh, and get them to tell you, show you, and share how they see themselves contributing to that vision.
People want to know they belong. They can contribute. They are worthy…and valued. You… you get to be that person. Here's Walt one more time:
"If you can dream it, you can do it."
I have graduated twice in the past six weeks, first from USC with my Doctorate and last Thursday with my ears. Yup, I attended an excellent program facilitated by the Disney Institute. I've got a few more things on my mind about that, and I'll talk and write about it in the weeks to come.
I hope you're well out there…
V/r,
Dr. JW
PS:
- Don't give up.
- Do it over a sustained period.
- Be the one who loves what you do.
Need some help?
Here's Steve on staying in the game: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jPXQPG_1090 Please pay VERY CLOSE attention to the story that starts at 2:25. Forget that I have NO idea what a frequency counter is... it doesn't matter.
Watch that one on repeat... send me a Marco Polo with your thoughts.
How did The Note* from MGM (Montgomery, AL) begin?
Jodi and I moved to Alabama in 2019. After being here for just less than a week, I opened up my email to send a note to my family in friends in California and beyond. Jodi was on her way to join me here, so I took time to reflect on this significant life decision/change I had initiated. That Tuesday, January 22nd, 2019, I sent an email at 9:38 pm (or, as I was beginning to learn: 2138).
Here's how it started:
Today was my first day as an employee of the United States Air Force. And, I am bold enough to say I've never been prouder or more excited to serve a community.
Though I "moved" to Alabama last Wednesday [Jodi plans to be here Monday], I went to my New Employee Orientation just today. The 90-minute briefing culminated in me taking the Oath:
"I, Jason Womack, do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion; and that I will well; and faithfully discharge the duties of the office on which I am about to enter. So help me God."
All at the same time, I felt pride, Honor, and a hefty dose of responsibility. I'm helping leaders on a grand scale.
*The following Sunday, and many subsequent Sundays!, I've sent a note to my family and friends. Thanks for reading, and gratitude (more!) for clicking reply and letting me know what YOU'RE reflecting on!