V.3 N.35 Sunday Note from MGM "I hear you" Days 988-1,000

Hiya ,

I hear you. 

Not "heard" you.

Not simply listening so I can respond. 

I hear you.

In fact, my aim is to be so present with you that as you're sharing your story, I'm already losing the details. They fall away as you move from one paragraph to the next.

The following sentence. 

Another word. 

I assume that what you are sharing - when you choose to share for real - is so deep, so raw, and so emotional that I can't come in after you share with something. With anything. The best thing I can do? Share my story in return.

Hoping that you'll simply listen, in return.

You see, these crucible stories are important for us to know from one another. They let each other know where we are coming from. What we are afraid of. And, what we hope for.

I accept the fact that something is coming. And, it's going to be different than it was before. There is no "there" to return to for many of us.

At least for me; I don't want to go "back" to the way it was.

We are beyond that.

For some of you reading this, your work-world didn't change like mine did on March 13th, 2020. And for others, what you see and are experiencing is 180 out from what you (thought you) had pre-2020. Either way, it's November 21st, 2021, and we are racing toward a new year. I'm asking all of my friends to listen to one another.

Last Friday, I invited the leaders I serve to lean into the Zoom screen and share one of their crucible stories. A story that was formative in the way that they look at the world. A moment, or a decision, an event in their life that "because of…" they see things the way they do. 

I heard stories that gripped my mind and heart. A story that meant something. To the person telling it.

Whenever I do this activity, it takes about an hour to build a story. And, when it's time to share, it takes about three minutes to read the (#RoughDraft) story.

(As usual - I never ask my students to do something I don't - I wrote and shared a crucible moment story. If you're on Marco Polo, send me a message, and I'll share mine with you.)

After telling a story, (some people) will remember the account they shared. As I've led this activity over the years, many people have said something like, "This is the first time I've shared this story out loud."

<Full Transparency: Some won't. But that's another private email I would have to write. It's a choice they make.>

When we receive a story that someone shares of a challenge or difficult time in THEIR lives, we often feel uncomfortable. We want to thank them. For sharing. For being vulnerable. For trusting us enough to share. Why do we feel this way?

I'd love for you to click reply and let me know what you think...

We live in a world where the sayings make sense:

• Don't hedge, lest ye be…
• Walk a mile in their shoes…
• If you start by assuming they are hurting. 
• If they knew better, they (could) would do better. 

And, it's that last one that gets me—every time. Oh, and I even fall victim to it. It's SOOOOOO easy to listen to someone share what they are going through and immediately go into "problem-solving-mode." We want to help. To mentor. To lead.

As I listen to your stories or even tell my own, I can (think I) know what needs to be done, what needs to be shared. And, at that moment, I have 1 of (at least) 3 options:

1. Bury it deep inside. 
2. Talk about it with people that can't do anything about it. 
3. Ask the other person to meet me where I am. 

And, ohhhhh, is that last one a bear. Isn't it? I have been lookin' at the guy in the mirror. On Friday, I heard 13 Crucible Moment stories {and told one} and simply was present with each person. I didn't ask a question. Didn't clarify anything. Didn't even say thanks.

I heard each person

My intent? To be human as they shared. Yeah, I'm all in on this. I don't lead human beings anymore, and I lead humans…being.

Best from 'Bama,

JW

(Hey, if you're on the Marco Polo app, send a hello my way! Mobile# 805-798-1362 )

How did The Note* from MGM (Montgomery, AL) begin?

After being here for just less than a week, I opened up my email to send a note to my family in friends in California and beyond. Jodi was on her way to join me here, so I took some time to reflect on this significant life decision/change I had initiated. That Tuesday, January 22nd, 2019, I sent an email at 9:38 pm (or, as I was beginning to learn: 2138). Here's how it started:

Today was my first day as an employee of the United States Air Force. And, I am bold enough to say I've never been prouder or more excited to serve a community.

Though I "moved" to Alabama last Wednesday [Jodi plans to be here Monday], I went to my New Employee Orientation just today. The 90-minute briefing culminated in me taking the Oath:

"I, Jason Womack, do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion; and that I will well; and faithfully discharge the duties of the office on which I am about to enter. So help me God."

All at the same time, I felt pride, Honor, and a hefty dose of responsibility. I'm helping leaders on a grand scale.

*The following Sunday, and many subsequent Sundays!, I've sent a note to my family and friends. Thanks for reading, and gratitude (more!) for clicking reply and letting me know what YOU'RE reflecting on!

The Sunday Note (TSN) from MGM (Montgomery, AL) is an email to share MY reflective practice with you... and invite YOU to share your reflections with friends and family...hit reply, let me know how you are!