19 Sep 2022 sent from National Harbor, MD

*If you wanna share "The Note" just send this link to your friends: https://sendfox.com/jw (Wrote on Sunday, am sending on Monday...night!)

2022 - Y(ear).4 N(ote).16 - The Note "Hold them a little tighter"

Hiya ,

I am here at 37,000' about to pass over the Colorado/Kansas border en route to Washington, DC. About 10 minutes ago, I looked out the window toward Colorado Springs; right now, I'm planning another visit on the 17th of October. See you then!

This week, I'll help my Air Force friends celebrate their 75th Birthday (today!), attend the Air and Space Forces Association (AFA) conference at National Harbor, get a tour of a really cool building in our Nation's capital, AND see Hamilton on Thursday oh… and I will attend the Women's Initiatives Team (WIT) off-site on Friday. (The following week is equally as awesome…)

I missed writing to you last weekend. Remember my promise that as I enter the 5th year of writing these notes, I will only do so when I feel compelled to write. Today, I've got some things on my heart and mind that I want to share. Tap reply if you're reading this from your phone, and let me know how you are. What's your "The Note" this week? 

(I also semi-regularly post reflection practice prompts in MarcoPolo. Text me, and I'll invite you there as well!)

Three things I'm thinking:

1. The US Air Force is 75 today

2. Our friends need us

3. Reading is really good for me

In 2018 (at age 46), Jodi and I made the big decision to change…everything. We had the luxury of doing so; you see, our work, experiences, learning, and the books we read culminated in the opportunity of my lifetime! I'm one of the few lucky guys I know, a small group of people I've met along the way who got to experience a "self-initiated" redo on their life.

After more than ten years of managing our own company and living in Ojai, CA, we moved to Montgomery, Alabama…and now, we both serve the Air Force. I'm an Instructor, and Jodi's a contractor. I work with leaders on their early Command leadership; Jodi is pulling minds and hearts together to accelerate innovation and change throughout the Air Force. Every day we get up and go to work, we help the fellow "humans being" that we serve alongside here at AU.

While I've only been here at Maxwell AFB since January 2019, The Air Force is 75 today. From what I have read, there have been others who feel like me during those years. Fortunate. Lucky. Blessed. Right-place-right-time. I'm on the lookout for them; I want to find and spend (more) time with (more) people who feel they have a "calling," not just a "job." 

The past 75 years of the service have seen economic, social, political, and environmental changes impact how work gets done. And what gets done. This leads me to my gravest concern. Over the next 75 years, the change will only come faster. 

I'm not sure we're all ready for it. 

(Have you ever stopped to wonder what happens when Facebook becomes a bank and loans are vetted through algorithms and predictions based on reading one's social media/online footprint? Or, what happens when one's metaverse avatar - who doesn't look at all like them but has all the resources and knowledge they have - decides to act in a way they might not if we knew who it was…? This is what happens when I think!)

My concern is that we're less ready than we need to be…as a nation, a society, and a service. 

As I look around, I ask BIG questions… questions like:

"What do we need to do differently? What guidance/policy/tradition holds us back? What must we continue doing? How do changing social norms impact THAT? What data do we need? Who can do the research? Where can we use our voice…and the data we find…to tell a new story? Who will be the change we need to see?"

Stay tuned, 'cause at just 50 years old, I'm here to say I will be in The Arena for the next bit. I am raising my hand high; if you see me, jump in here with me!

Put me in, coach.

Last night I had dinner with my family and a couple they've known for a long time. Me? I have known these folks - they were at my parent's wedding…and ours - since 1989. 

This aging thing is impacting some of us more significantly than others. My heart goes out to those of you reading this who are leading yourselves through the hard times. It's so hard to watch you, and while I can not know the depth of the pain and sadness you feel, I'm here for a text, phone call, FaceTime, or Zoom anytime. 

I get to spend the next few weeks with my Jodi, who's living through her experience of loving on her mom and dad from 1,700 miles away. For almost four years, she's talked or FaceTimed with her dad almost daily and occasionally gets a hello across to her mama. As I watch my best friend care about her best friend (her "Wonder Woman," for those of you who've seen her LEDx talk), I can only begin to empathize with how hard it is to care for those we love as their capacities change.

It makes me want to be as (more) present and aware of all I have as possible.

Go, hold someone you love a little tighter and a little longer today. 

From 2001-2003, I studied through a program at the University of Santa Monica, earning my second master's degree in Spiritual Psychology. I applied to that program because of the focus on empathy and communication. The academics of the course were good, but the practical application exercises we did every month for two years were off the charts. 

While there, I went deep into two things:

A. The impact of self-talk on our performance

B. The impact of the emotional build-up (figurative plaque, I called it) of "holding it in."

Maybe I'll write more about that first one later, but for now, I'm going to make a public request based on the second:

"Let it out…"

Throughout my life, I have felt like - and have been around people who felt like - crying, a fundamental human expression of overwhelm. Of confusion. Of anger; sadness; or loneliness. There are times that the emotion is so heavy, the feelings so present, and the intensity so high that the lips tremble lips, the heart beats, the tears form…

You might resonate. 

Maybe a long time ago; in the past month; perhaps even earlier today, you felt it… and the resultant salty tears that welled and then streamed. When it happens (and, in my line of work, it's weekly…), I breathe a little deeper and invite the person to

• Let it out
• Be human
• Feel the feeling

It's not normal. Watch for it when it happens. If you are with enough people and talk about real things, someone will feel. As they feel, listen, and you'll probably hear someone say. "It's ok." Or, "Don't cry." 

Heaven forbid if it's a young man feeling, I won't print what I was told as a kid when I was on the verge of tears. Too much research shows there are "not good things" that build up over time when the human experience of crying is cut off or cut short. 

If you're reading this and feel it… let it out. 

I'm pretty sure I told most of you that my 90-day break has ended. While I'm not reading as much as I did during the doctoral program, I'm back in the game. It has been over three months since I graduated, and I'm back to reading multiple times daily. Ten minutes here, five there, a whole 45-minute session sometime during the day. Using the speed reading techniques I've lived with and built for 20 years, I'm consuming a lot of the popular literature I missed out on and a bunch of books my friends have written over the past few years. Recently, we met on Zoom twice to chat about Marshall Goldsmith's latest. It was awesome to gather with folks as we pushed on one another's ideas and interpretations of "The Earned Life."

I will stand up another "evening-book-chat" series; look for that in an upcoming The Note. 

A week ago, I met and heard Katharine Manning speak about her research on trauma, empathy, and survivorship. Oh my goodness, does she speak my language, mainly when she talked about Active Listening. I posted some pictures of my marginalia here: https://instagram.com/p/CiqaMHbukd3/

I realize that reading (and watching and listening… generally consuming information that another mind has published) is SO good for me. While I'll freely admit that much of what I see, I have a slight feeling of, "I've been saying something like that…" the fact is that THAT person wrote it. Published it. Promoted it. I remain convinced it takes three things to succeed:

• Get smart(er)
• Get better
• Get lucky

In that order. It seems the smarter I get, the better I can perform. And, by doing my work a little bit better (more effectively, more professionally, and more purposefully), I experience more opportunities that present themselves to me. For those of you whom I'm connected to on LinkedIn or Facebook, I'll post next about the opportunity I experienced today here in DC. 

I'm here to say, "Good things happen to those who look for good things to happen."

Much love,

Dr. JW

How did The Note* from MGM (Montgomery, AL) begin?

Jodi and I moved to Alabama in 2019. After being here for just less than a week, I opened up my email to send a note to my family in friends in California and beyond. Jodi was on her way to join me here, so I took some time to reflect on this significant life decision/change I had initiated. That Tuesday, January 22nd, 2019, I sent an email at 9:38 pm (or, as I was beginning to learn: 2138). Here's how it started:

Today was my first day as an employee of the United States Air Force. And, I am bold enough to say I've never been prouder or more excited to serve a community.

Though I "moved" to Alabama last Wednesday [Jodi plans to be here Monday], I went to my New Employee Orientation just today. The 90-minute briefing culminated in me taking the Oath:

"I, Jason Womack, do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion; and that I will well; and faithfully discharge the duties of the office on which I am about to enter. So help me God."

All at the same time, I felt pride, Honor, and a hefty dose of responsibility. I'm helping leaders on a grand scale.

*The following Sunday, and many subsequent Sundays!, I've sent a note to my family and friends. Thanks for reading, and gratitude (more!) for clicking reply and letting me know what YOU'RE reflecting on!