“A human being has to look out for other human beings or else there’s no civilization.”

~ Donald L. Miller, Masters of the Air: America's Bomber Boys Who Fought the Air War Against Nazi Germany

StarDate 2024.0128 sent from Montgomery, AL

Y.6 N.3 We are moving west, thank you MGM

Hi

Two updates and some (deep) thinking.

First off, a quick SITREP... here's what is goin’ on with Jodi and I:

(i) Our house on Lower James Street is for sale! Let us know if you want the link to the Redfin site, in case you know someone moving here!

As I posted on LinkedIn, our 60 months here have been a-may-zing. I have to wonder: Was it planned from the start that the month that the “Masters of the Air” series is released we would announce our departure? Remember, the ONLY reason we are in Alabama is because of the Bloody Hundredth! (I told a version of the story here...)

(ii) I received my “Annual Appraisal” for 2023 last Monday. My boss assessed my work from 7 May until 30 Sep. I’m very pleased to report that (a) for a run of 4 months and 3 weeks, I met expectations, and (b) I have a ways to go yet to perform at the level I expect of myself. Stay tuned; as I close in on my “mid-year” for 2024, I’m gonna get ALL OVER this CCAS system as I get a lot done AND become a better "bullet" writer!

Second, it's time for some deep(er) thinking.

Where does the question, “Where did that come from?” appear in your work?

And, in your life?

Reread that question... Then ask, when does it show up? Who asks it? What happens if/when you don't wonder?

Of course, there are other variants of that prompt:

• “Where WILL that come from?” 
• “Where SHOULD that come from?” 
• “Where COULD that have come from?” 
• “Where DIDN'T that come from?” 

Of course, you and I both know that those questions come out of “context.” [Connectation #4: Connection to Context]

Let's say we're about to jump into a conversation; even if it's emailing one another back and forth, for us to be on the “same screen” we have to agree on where the “that” is that each of us is coming from.

To answer the question, "Where did that come from?” we must be amazingly aware of the “that” we’re both discussing.

Get it?

Here’s where it showed up in the last week:

(1) Jodi and I were talking about selling my bikes;

(2) The team I worked with discussed the concept of “feedback;”

(3) I sat down (with ChatGPT) and got some coaching in developing my goals and objectives for next year.

(4) Last night, I had an interaction with an airline employee that left me sad at the state of human interaction; I'm afraid that there are people out there who are not trained - or want to be great at - interacting with other human beings.

Each of those examples brings to light this issue: to respond or engage with one another, we have to have some basis (or is it bias) for asking a question or saying the next sentence in the conversation. I believe most misunderstandings and even arguments show up because of the "starting point" of the next thing someone says.

Pretend I say something like, "I'm not sure if I keep the race bike or let it go." If I stop talking and Jodi says something...anything, whatever she says will originate from some viewpoint or assumption of what she thinks is at play...or at stake. It could align with what I'm thinkin', or 180 out.

Imagine a colleague of mine starts discussing the term "feedback" and doesn't know that:

• I wrote a chapter of my third book on that topic,
• that a client I worked with for more than ten years hired me explicitly to work on "leadership and feedback" in their organization,
• my mentors Frances Hesselbein and Marshall Goldsmith BOTH taught me about THRIVING because of feedback,
• that one of my "top 10" recommended books on feedback is by Kim Scott,
• and, that I'm afraid I disagree with the models AND practices I am seeing regarding the "art, science, and practice" of how feedback is (1) collected, (2) analyzed, (3) organized, (4) delivered, and (5) followed up with.

Finally, what if I didn't program my own ChatGPT LLM and contribute to the conversation throughout our "coaching session"? Can you imagine how off-course the guidance I get would be if I don't/didn't prompt the chat?

(I won't write about the experience at the airport... not worth it.)

As a conversation unfolds, our assumptions, beliefs, and (of course) biases will come into play with what we say. Me? I'm practicing being (more) curious, even asking my friends, "Where did that come from?" when conversing. The next time someone starts a conversation or asks you to respond to a question, please take a moment before you respond and ask yourself:

“From which assumption does what I’m about to say come from?”

(Another question I wrote in my notebook last night is: “Based on what I am about to say next, what am I assuming the other person is concerned with/hopeful for/planning?”)

I'm going to stop typing and watch this game. I've got friends from Detroit, and I grew up in the Bay Area... I hope both teams have fun!

Love you. Be safe out there, and take care of one another.

JW