Obstacle: Your coach or parents tell you to think positive … but you can’t. You say all the right things like “I’m going to win this match!” and “I’ve done it before, I can do it again”, but in your heart you don’t believe them. The negative thoughts, “I can’t do this” and “I’m not good enough” overwhelm you. Positive thinking isn’t working. How to Overcome: Remember that your sport doesn’t care about what you think, only about what you DO. How many times have you thought positively, and performed poorly? It happens because there is no guarantee that a positive attitude will yield a positive performance. You can score with negative thoughts if you execute the skill properly! Trying to think positively can actually be a distraction. If you are wrestling with your thoughts, you are not focused on the game and skill execution. And even if you do improve confidence by thinking positively, then all you’ve really done is make yourself feel better and not necessarily anything that will have you play better. You don’t need positive thoughts, you need action thoughts. Action Steps: ? Watch my favorite teaching on “What to do when positive thinking doesn’t work” at https://dreddieoconnor.com/when-positive-thinking-doesnt-work/ for free. ? Check out “The Psychology of Performance: How to Be Your Best in Life” at www.thegreatcourses.com/dreddieoconnor for the entire lecture and 23 other sport psychology lessons that will enhance your performance! (You can find both through link in bio)

OBSTACLE: Your emotions take over and control how you play. Maybe you made a mistake, and your anxiety causes you to play safe and timid. Ref makes a ridiculously bad call and hurts your team. You can't stop thinking how unfair it is and start making mistakes because you are thinking about the call, not the game. Opponent hits you with a cheap shot. Now the game is about revenge and getting him back. You get caught in the retaliation and get a penalty. HOW TO OVERCOME: Remain in control under pressure. Remember that your thoughts, feelings and actions are independent. You ever get up in the morning when you didn't want to? Push yourself to go harder when you were tired and wanted to slow down? Ever resist the urge to express your anger at the person who cuts you off driving on the highway? Of course you have. It is easier to play well when you think positive and feel confident. But things happen and we have anxiety, anger and lack motivation. These cannot determine our performance effort. The person that runs the fastest always wins. The team that scores the most points always wins (... except in golf, where lowest wins - but you get my point). Actions are what matters. And your emotions are independent of your actions. Base your actions on what the sport situation demands, no matter what you feel. Because your sport doesn't care about what you think and feel. And neither should you. As I told a hockey team I consulted with a few years ago, after they spent the first period upset and distracted about the excessive physicality and trash talking in the game (and down a couple of scores), "You can get mad and fight. Or you can get mad and play hockey. Choose because you can't do both." They came out and scored three goals in the first 2 minutes of the second period and went on to win the game. If you want help playing in control under pressure, I have three resources for you: ? Individual consulting at https://dreddieoconnor.com/telehealth-services/ ? Success Stories Membership at https://dreddieoconnor.com/membership/ ? "The Psychology of Performance: How to Be Your Best in Life" at

Many thanks to the National Association of Basketball Coaches to invite me back again this year to discuss “Advocating for Coach & Player Mental Health” ... Three biggest takeaways: 1) See athletes as more than athletes. See them as people with lives outside of basketball first so that trust is built. 2) Ask an open-ended question about an area of life important to players daily and listen attentively to the answer. 3) You would not battle cancer alone without medical help. You would not avoid doctors if you had diabetes or a heart condition. Why would you fight depression or anxiety by yourself? Please seek the help that is available. Go to link if bio if I can be of assistance in your journey.

Recent American Psychological Association data suggests teens and young adults are experiencing more stress, anxiety, and depressive symptoms. Not only do student-athletes have the “normal” performance anxiety and sport pressures, but now add uncertain futures, ever-changing sport and school schedules, and health concerns. Don’t struggle alone. I’m here to help, support, encourage, and teach you the skills that will have you thrive, not just survive. Go to link in bio for more.

Now that the live Association for Applied Sport Psychology Conference is over - it is time to dive into the on-demand sessions. Every year this conference energizes me, and I learn the latest science and interventions from the world's best. This year was no different. And the feedback on our session has been wonderful. Thanks to my colleagues Chelsea, Ashley and Jessica for pulling this together and their insights. Check out our session and see what that Tough Mudder headband has to do with how to let go of the negative so you can embrace a positive and productive focus.

Which of these do you see in your youth sport experience? (Comment below) ... It seems the performance pressure is increasing, and fortunately so is the sport psychology support ... Enjoying the (virtual) Association for Applied Sport Psychology conference. Thanks to friend and colleague Dr Jack Lesyk for this keynote address.

Obstacle: You’ve lost your skills. Maybe it’s a dive or gymnastics skill that you can’t do anymore because of fear. Maybe it’s the yips missing easy putts or a hitch in your golf swing. In baseball, you can’t throw the ball with control as it goes into the ground or over your teammate’s head. How to Overcome: Ultimately this is a focus issue. Fear is the distraction and all the thoughts about what you “don’t” want to do create images and focus on the very thing that sabotages your performance. Best performances come from a committed focus on what “to do” Take action: - identify what you specifically concentrate on when you perform well - practice mindfulness to develop focus strength Check the link in bio for additional support with individual consultations and Success Stories Membership.

What is the best way to build confidence? Preparation. While confidence is a mindset, it is best developed through behavior that develops you. False or over-confidence is dangerous if you don’t have the skills and to back it up. Confidence can also be built through 1) successful experiences, increasing your sense of mastery, 2) vicarious experiences like success imagery or seeing others who are similar to you doing well ... “If they can do it so can I!”, 3) encouragement from others (and yourself), and 4) interpret bodily sensations as positive - you aren’t nervous, you are excited! Comment below on your best confidence building strategy. And check the link in bio for “Success Stories Membership” where you can join other high achievers overcome obstacles like doubt, build confidence, and perform with consistent excellence.

... I've been patient ... and my patience has been rewarded ... Since the day Shea was born - he has been exposed to Bills games. I would bring him in his baby carrier/car seat and put him on the table as I watched the games at various sports restaurants and bars. When he was old enough to decide for himself, he became a Chargers fan ("Who is the best player in the game, Daddy?" ... "LaDainian Tomlinson of the Chargers" ... "Then that's my team."). He followed LT to the division rival Jets, before settling in with his home town Lions. For 291 games during his lifetime, Shea watched his father bleed Buffalo red, white and blue. I say bleed because they were painful years. But my faith and commitment never waivered. No one circles the wagons like the Buffalo Bills. And Bills Mafia remained optimistic. That's what we do. We Billieve. Then things started to change. When Shea was 16 he saw the Bills go to the playoffs for the first time in his lifetime. Bills fans donated $250K to Bengals QB Andy Dalton's charity after he saved their season by throwing a last minute TD pass to defeat the Ravens and we snuck in. The excitement was palpable. Many fans gave $17 to represent the end of our 17-year playoff drought. That's the character of Bills Mafia. And Shea got to feel the love of Bills fans at both home and away, attending games at Buffalo and at Detroit vs. Lions (both Bills wins), at Browns (L), and at Dolphins (W). The passion of Bills Mafia was everywhere. And it was at this 292nd game in Miami a couple of weeks ago that Shea's heart gave in to the pull (with the help of Diggs having big day for his fantasy team, ?). Shea joined Bills Mafia ... and my heart is full. Welcome home, son. Welcome home. (Now I'm looking for a picnic table to crash him through for the christening.) Let's Go Buffalo!