Obstacle: You feel strong commitment at the beginning of your season, project or goal … but then the feeling fades. It gets harder to follow through on the necessary behaviors it takes to succeed. You question if you want to finish. You don’t feel the same attachment to your goal as you once did, and your lack of intensity and consistency shows this. How to Overcome: Understand that your commitment is a behavior that you will execute regardless of how you feel. It is ultimately your ability to follow through when you don’t feel motivated that will determine your success. This is why I would take a committed athlete over the motivated athlete every day of the week. When motivation is low, a committed athlete will train and perform with the same intensity required to he his/her best. Head over to www.DrEddieOConnor.com/when-positive-thinking-doesnt-work for my FREE video, “What to do when positive thinking doesn’t work” for more details on how to act with commitment independent of what you think and feel. (Link in bio) Check out “The Psychology of Performance: How to Be Your Best in Life” at www.thegreatcourses.com/dreddieoconnor for the entire Commitment lesson and 23 other sport psychology topics that will enhance your performance! LIKE this video if you are committed Let me know the most difficult emotion to perform through in the COMMENTS. TAG and SHARE this with someone who could use some encouragement to keep going!

@stephenhauschka4 retires and gives thanks to the sport psychologists who helped him focus and lock in. Congrats to one of Buffalo’s best on a great career. We always felt confident when playing with HausMoney! #billsmafia #buffalobills #hausmoney

Obstacle: You try to break that negative mindset that has haunted you for years, but the negative thoughts don’t leave. You can’t shake that insecurity or doubt. You’ve felt “not good enough” for a long time and the positive thinking doesn’t stick. You are frustrated because you can’t change your mindset. How to Overcome: Embrace the long and slow process of the renewal of your mind. Our negative thought patterns have been developed over years (maybe with the reinforcement of a negative coach or pressure from a parent). They will not change overnight and you won’t believe the positive with just a few repetitions. But there is a more helpful, positive and truthful story to tell yourself. And you have to go back to it and intentionally tell it to yourself, one thought at a time. Take each negative thought captive and challenge it with a more real and helpful perspective. With the truth you want to believe. You won’t believe it at first, but if you commit yourself to the long term process of the renewal of your mind, you will see tremendous change. Head over to www.DrEddieOConnor.com/when-positive-thinking-doesnt-work for my FREE video, “What to do when positive thinking doesn’t work” for more details on how to be free from negative thinking and doubt. LIKE this video if you are ready to change your mindset Let me know one positive belief you want to adopt in the COMMENTS. TAG and SHARE this with someone who could talk nicer to themselves!

"Overcoming Holiday Blues During a Pandemic" (interview link in bio) On the The Sports Project Radio Show, Steve and Dr. Eddie talk about developing an “attitude of gratitude.” But it isn’t replacing negative thinking with positive. Rather, it is holding the things that are still going well alongside the challenges. It also isn’t just a feeling. It’s a behavior that can be sought out and practiced. It is those behaviors that can change the heart. The holidays and pandemic can bring up many negative feelings and result in feeling stuck. The surprising thing is this is often a normal and understandable response. It doesn’t mean that we should stay there. But it also doesn’t mean that we have to wait to feel good to live the life we want to live. Steve strongly encourages seeing a psychologist for the coaching that can help you work with your emotions to live the life you want and achieve the results you are looking for. The sad, mad, and scared feelings are 75% of what we can feel (4 basic human emotions.) Steve and Dr. Eddie discuss the value of the negative emotions and how you can use them to be your best. LISTEN HERE: https://dreddieoconnor.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/Overcoming-Holiday-Blues-in-Pandemic.m4a Have you seen Dr. Eddie’s “What To Do When Positive Thinking Doesn’t Work”? Watch here:

Let’s go, Buffalo!

Give the gift of excellence this year. “The Psychology of Performance: How to Be Your Best in Life” at www.thegreatcourses.com/dreddieoconnor (link in bio)

Obstacle: Frustration and lack of motivation when we don’t get the results we are working for How to Overcome: Gratitude. Not forgetting the negative or focusing on the positive. But finding things you can be truly grateful for IN the adversity you are struggling with, and appreciating these real, valuable things along side the difficulty. Our current performance isn’t black or white, all good or all bad. Gratitude can be found in the gray and it will lift your spirits and give you the motivation to persevere. Head over to www.DrEddieOConnor.com for my FREE video, “What to do when positive thinking doesn’t work.” Gratitude is not a feeling. It is a practiced action. Learn how to act in a valued direction no matter how bad you think or feel! (Link in bio) LIKE this video if you have something to be grateful for. Let me know what you are thankful for in your current challenge in the COMMENTS. TAG and SHARE this with someone you are thankful for.

(FOX17 interview link in bio) ... As the MI state health department's new COVID-19 restrictions kick in, HS and college sports programs have been shelved. "You're undefeated, we ranked top 5, and we had national title aspirations and everything got cut short. You just kind of feel gutted," said Tim Murray, head coach of the men's lacrosse team at GVSU. Sport Psychologist Eddie O'Connor understands it. He sees athletes all the time who are struggling with the loss of playing the sports they love, especially the seniors. "We really have to let them grieve, it's very important to not try to make it better. Give people space to comprehend the loss and to feel it." Some athletes may question why they train during modified or cancelled seasons. "They can have an automatic response like, 'well, this is what I do, so I should just keep doing it no matter what.' Others ask 'what am I doing here?' and so I help explore that great question & ask them, 'What is your identity and motivation to keep training?' It helps athletes feel in more control and respond adaptively." He says this is a great opportunity for coaches to connect with their players. "Athletes say, 'talk to us like human beings, not just your point guard.' If you notice there is a change in their personality, ask about it to see if they need some help." Help is available at

Obstacle: We let negative emotions ruin our performance. How to Overcome: Understand we have 4 basic human emotions: happy, mad, sad and scared. ** Only 1 (25%) is positive! ** Rather than fight and try to change these normal (and beneficial emotions), BE WILLING to bring the emotions along with you as you use the information to guide your actions. For example, you make a mistake and feel angry. Rather than try to calm down, understand you are mad because you care. Then use that energy to fix what you did wrong and have extra intense focus on the next play. Action Steps: ? Watch my favorite teaching on “What to do when positive thinking doesn’t work” at https://dreddieoconnor.com/when-positive-thinking-doesnt-work/ for free. This will help you develop the willingness to bring negative emotions along with you so that you can excel. ? Check out “The Psychology of Performance: How to Be Your Best in Life” at https://www.thegreatcourses.com/dreddieoconnor for the entire lecture and 23 other sport psychology lessons that will enhance your performance! Let me know which of the three negative emotions is most difficult to handle in the COMMENTS. LIKE this video if you use your emotions to be your best. TAG and SHARE this with someone who wants to use their emotional strength to win.

OBSTACLE: Fear of Failure You care about the outcome. We play to win the game. Failure hurts and has consequences. And if it's my fault, I've let down teammates, coaches and parents. So to protect myself from the feeling of fear I do one of three things: 1) Focus on the fear. The physical sensations and worried thoughts are overwhelming, and all I can do is ruminate on them and try to reduce them. I'm distracted and that leads to more failure. 2) Avoid and withdraw. If "I don't care" then failing can't hurt me. It works in the moment ... but I am disengaged and fail because of my lack of effort and the resulting failure still hurts because I actually do care. 3) I try to be perfect and not make any mistakes. And if I do make a mistake, it is unacceptable. No one pushes me harder than I do. But I'm under pressure all the time and get distressed when mistakes happen anyway. I am so focused on winning and not making a mistake that I can't focus on what I should be doing in order to win. HOW TO OVERCOME: Understand that fear isn't what it says it is. Your mind is built to tell you what COULD go wrong, not what WILL go wrong. It is simply a warning. The truth is you could lose, make a mistake, cost the team the game, disappoint people, etc. This is why positive thinking doesn't always work. The possibility of failure is always real, even if it is highly unlikely. So prepare for success. Have a plan for what you need to do. Have plans for all your "what if ...?" questions and know how you would respond to each challenge. ACTION PLAN: Use the fear as a checklist. Write down everything you are afraid could go wrong and then 1) what you can do to prevent it, and 2) how you will handle it if it happens. You will find that you can handle the adversity, you will be focused on the process of success, and confidence will flow from your preparation. Go to LINK IN BIO for my FREE video, “What to do when positive thinking doesn’t work.” In it I teach you how to overcome fear of failure and perform your best with it. Let me know which of the three ways you protect yourself from fear in the COMMENTS. And LIKE if you are ready to get past your fear!