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You won’t believe it ,

This guy was unbelievable.

Not the kind of unbelievable when someone is impressive, but the unbelievable when someone is such a dumbass you think it’s a set-up for a hidden camera reality show.

You’ve explained it 14 times.  You tried speaking slower, louder, faster, and softer.  You drew diagrams.  The walls are covered with strings and pins like a detective’s office.  And still...nothing.

He still believes that a pizza would defeat a taco in a physical battle, even after defining the term “exoskeleton.”

See ?  He’s a DUMBASS.

After arguing for an hour, he still can’t admit that I’m right!

What’s the point of arguing if I can’t get this dumbass to admit that I’m right?

Isn’t that the point of a passionate argument?  Well, maybe it shouldn’t be.

That mindset can lead to the digging-in of heels and plugging of ears while the other person talks.

Instead of truly listening, you’re impatiently waiting for the other person to pause so you can continue with what you were saying before they interrupted your last statement.

Is that the outcome that helps anyone?  The outcome that will make you happier now, and in the future?  The outcome that both parties actually learn from? No. The answer is no.

The goal of arguing isn’t to be right.

The goal of arguing is to understand.

It’s not about who is right, it’s about understanding the viewpoint that may be different from your current understanding.  Then you can choose to update your opinion using this new information and understanding.

You don’t have to agree with them, but it’s hard to know if you agree or not without understanding them.

Your homework this week:  Next time you find yourself disagreeing with someone, pause for a minute.  Focus on trying to understand their view.  

Maybe you change your mind, or maybe you strengthen your previous beliefs.  But in order for either to happen, you first have to understand what that dumbass is trying to say.

Be great,

Danny Lehr

P.S.  Reply and let me know — do you argue to win or to understand?

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