#503 – How does self-awareness help you become your full self?

Realizing your full potential requires continuous evolution, which is impossible unless you stay aware of your self moment by moment.

But isn't that self-absorbed navel gazing, you may ask?

Struggling to find a topic for yesterday's piece, I realized that insights worth writing about have become more elusive. 

Right after breakfast, I decided to check apartments for our upcoming move before doing my morning pages. Engaged in the four-dimensional Tetris that is combining location, price, and layout, 75 minutes evaporated.

When I got to the notebook, my mental energy was gone. I half-assed the pages and then, while waiting for two online calls 1.5 hours later, I wasted time in different ways. More minutes disappeared afterward, taking and editing a new headshot for my LinkedIn profile.

While making the bed, I tried to find an explanation for my behavior: was I tired? Anxious about the future? Sad about the past? As I paced around the bed adjusting the cover so the stripes were in perfect alignment, I saw who was behind my navel-gazing sulk.

It was my Ego, trying to shake an answer out of me (and make the perfect bed) so that I wouldn't notice anything inside.

That’s it: I hadn't paid attention to anything inside. Hence, I wasn't aware of the state of dissatisfaction that wasting time was putting me in.

The moment I paused, it all became obvious: by trying to justify my lack of energy, I was staying there, vulnerable to distractions of all sorts. And that meant no insight, which in turn led to no evolution––what the Ego most loves.

What will you notice when you pause, that the Ego doesn't want you to see?

Love,

Carolina