#501 – What part of you needs you to always look good?

The prospect of being rejected freaks your Ego so much that it'll make you lie even to yourself if that'll keep its positive image inside your mind.

Reading a passage in Patti Smith's M Train last night, I admired the author's courage in disclosing not-so-flattering aspects of her self. This morning I found a similar trend in an article about the late Norman Podhoretz's Making It. Apparently, all his friends begged him not to publish the book, as it made him look bad.

The question "Where are you trying to look good?" was one of the first I learned in my co-active coaching training. I understood its piercing power, but it wasn't until today that I realized how cathartic it is, if one's willing to look at their unmasked self.

Noticing that a recruiter had viewed my LinkedIn profile yesterday but hadn't taken any steps to reach out, I took a sincere look at it. I sensed something like a dense cloud of lead mist pressing down my shoulders.

Yes: I've been trying to "look good" more than to tell recruiters who I am, what skills I have, and how I might serve their needs. 

Because if I'm honest, I have to admit things I wasn't ready to admit to myself. Like the fact that I've had jobs where I was in over my head. That other jobs were below my capabilities but fear drove me to take them. That the Ghosts of Idea Deflection, Not Following Up, and Misplaced Shame had inspired some of my career moves. 

But facing the truth, making these unconscious facts known to my self, is the first, necessary step to accessing the possibilities that await me on the other side of fear.

Where are you trying to look good?

Love,

Carolina