#502 – What message does comparing and competing send your mind?

The reason we humans compare ourselves and compete is because we need to make sure we have resources (food, mates, power). Better said: our Ego needs to make sure we won't die (of starvation, abandonment, loss of status).

Again I noticed my obsession with spending little time writing my morning pages. It started months ago, when, wanting to know how long the activity took me, I started to time it. Once I knew, however, I kept the habit.

I've been thinking about this for quite a while, asking myself, “would filling three pages faster improve my life?"

While exploring that this morning, I pictured myself gauging my middle section in the mirror. 

"Would a slimmer belly improve my life?"

Of course, the answer to both questions is "no:" clothing sizes or minutes scribbling on a notebook have never influenced my life quality.

So, why? 

I know for a fact that the Ego's the one carrying the measuring tape and asking for details and proof. So, what's going on inside me?

My Ego is asserting its grip. It tells me two things: 1) that I am my body and 2) that my safety lies in external parameters.

And these two premises are the base for the biggest Ego lie: that you and I are separate. 

If that is true, which my Ego says it is, then it's important that I come out on top––like the dog says in this cartoon, "It's not enough that we succeed. Cats must also fail." And that's why I keep comparing and competing: to make sure I have more chances than others.

Because I'm afraid.

Better said: my Ego is afraid and I'm believing its lie.

What measuring parameters will you drop to leave your Ego out of a job?

Love,

Carolina