Hey there.

So lately I have noticed..

I have a tendency to feel sorry for myself.

I'm not sure if that happens with you..

But as I look around, it seems to be a thing with a lot of people..

So maybe you do. 

Or did.

Granted I've caught myself telling me that given all that I've been though so far...

I do deserve a moment of feeling sorry for myself...

#sigh

Fortunately I recognized this for what it is...

It's a mental trap and I know exactly how to handle it...

It's one thing to be told, "Don't be a victim." 

It's another to deeply understand what that means.  

To notice the many ways you tend to enjoy being a victim.  

And to notice the terrible price you pay for being a victim.

Stephen Covey's "Circle of Concern" and Circle of Influence" first made that clear to me*.

It's from his book "The 7 habits of highly effective people“ Read it.  

I first read it when I was done from the National Youth Service Corp and it gave me so much that has stayed with me ever since.

Anyways...

We are all worried or concerned different things...

Especially in these times and if you live in Nigeria...

Rising food costs..

Fall of the Naira..

The threat of war..

And else where...

Your weight

Corruption..

Your daughter waking up with nightmares...

The possibility of not ever being able to buy toilet paper again ..

#sigh

Each to his or her own.

Some of those things you're worried about are things you can influence. 

Many are things you can't influence.

You can influence your weight, for instance..

But...

You probably can't influence the chances of nuclear war.

(If can please hit reply, I have an offer you can't refuse)

Covey's point is this:  If you focus your time and attention on the things you can't control, your Circle of Influence shrinks over time. 

Because day to day, you're not acting on the things you CAN control.

But when instead you focus on the things in your Circle of Influence...

That circle expands. 

Because as you accept responsibility for what you CAN do. 

And you do it, your influence increases.

These days, everyone is a victim. 

Identity politics encourage people to feel like victims.

And to be honest I think it's a major tragedy.

You only come ALIVE when you focus each day on what you CAN control.

That's LIVING. 

That's LIFE.

And those of us who understand it..

Well...

Let's try and teach this to a young person before they're indoctrinated to believe they're a victim.

Till tomorrow..

Get out of your own way

CTM