Hey there

So obviously I took some time away from the ol daily email.

Much needed me time I might add...

Thanks for hanging in there for me.

One of our platinum members had a high profile client in a top firm reach out to hire her.

And like T'Challa AKA Black Panther....

She froze!

She struggled to even respond because she was scared of the success this new client could create for her.

It's the second time in a few days I was having a conversation with someone who was concerned about success...

Here's a weird fact:

Fear of success is far bigger than fear of failure for many people.

Question: How do you help a client who's afraid of success?

Here's a process that I used to use to help clients...

Way before I developed my current ninja skills as a qualified hypnotherapist and master practitioner of NLP...

I figured it might be useful to you...

Of course...

You are free to answer the questions if this applies to you, too. [HINT: It does!]

I call it The Ridiculous Ridiculousness™ ( fun name right?)

1. So, you're afraid of success… What precisely are you afraid of? Write it out. One uncomfortable fear at a time.

2. Then write out the fear underneath each fear.

3. Then, for each fear, write out: What would be the worst thing if that fear came true? And would actually be the best thing if that fear came true?

4. Then write down your top 1-3 insights.

Now that you're complete, you know that thing that scared you?

Do it anyway!

Betcha feel scammed!

#evillaugh

Seriously though...

Do it...

Do it for you and do it for your clients...

You'd be pleasantly surprised by the result.

Over the weekend I got invited to a pretty fun exclusive wedding party by one of our Platinum Members: Nike Ajayi

FYI: one of the perks I enjoy is access to cool people and places

Anyways..

At the event I got to meet some pretty cool people...

And as always...

I learned some pretty cool things as well...

First...

Stop trying to get rid of imposter syndrome...

Rather...

Embrace it as a fact of life.

Heheheheh...

Let me explain...

At the core of imposter syndrome is the idea that you're not good enough...

Rather than fight it...

Why not embrace it as a feeling that will always be there and yet doesn't have to define you.

Over the years I've developed a number of personas that I step into in order to cope with social challenges...

When I'm with strangers..

Mega Victor comes out to play...

He's super confident...

Doesn't care what you think...

Totally focused on fun...

And whilst he can be the life of the party..

He's perfectly comfortable all by himself.

But to tell the truth...

He's just a super alter ego I put on to deal with my social inadequacies...

He's useful....

But he's not me...

And that's okay.

Second...

Everything you want is on the other side of an uncomfortable conversation.

So I met this super cute lady who works in media...

I liked her at once.

We got into conversation...

I asked her if she liked dancing...

And invited her to a Kizomba dance session.

However...

Once I showed her a video of what the dance was like...

She went all "God forbid badt ting!!!" on me...

By the way...

He's the video I showed her: CLICK HERE

To be honest, I don't blame her for her first reaction to it...

But I wanted to get to know her and one of the best ways to know a person is to dance with them..

So I asked her if she was comfortable with her body...

She said yes.

I said: "Do you mind if I asked you a question to confirmed that?"

She said: "Sure"

So I asked:

"Have you ever taken time out to get a really good look at your vagina and do you like what you see?"

Poor girl literally spat out her drink in shock and started laughing out so hard I thought she'd hurt herself...

Long story short...

The ice broke and eventually I got her to say yes.

Is there a chance that conversation could have gone south?

Yup...

Was it uncomfortable...

Hell yeah...

But without it...

I'd come across as boring and predictable...

AKA...

No dance for you Victor!

Third...

Your next level of success is one small but scary step away from you.

But scary is good.

Scary is exciting...

At the party...

Sitting next to me was a divorcee...

I know cos later when we chatted...

She told me...

But before our chat...

She was a complete stranger...

Didn't know her from Eve...

But there was something about her eyes when I said hello...

They were sad eyes...

So I asked If I would like me to give her a hug..

She said yes..

And so I did.

Through out my time at the wedding...

I kept taking advantage of every excuse to reach out and touch her...

Eventually we settle on holding hands for a few minutes under the table...

Then...

It was all about playing footsies and lightly pressing our thighs together under the table

And no...

Not in any creepy I want to get laid way...

And just in case you didn't know...

I'm also a Certified touch therapist aka Cuddlist...(Yes it's a thing)

That means I'm pretty well versed in the power of non sexual touch...

And I also know that most people are starved of that...

You'd be surprised how many people have never experienced being touched in a way that acknowledges that they are accepted and loved for who they are...

And not as a busstop for sex...

But I digress...

We didn't say much at the wedding..

But later when we chatted...

After the initial shock of finding out that I'm a married man who's madly in love with his wife...

And what I do for a living...

She thanked me for seeing her and for helping her feel the way she did when I touched her...

Last night she introduced me to a friend of hers...

Looks like I've got some work piling up for me in Abuja.

My point...

What if I was afraid to reach out and touch her the way I did?

I'd be sitting next to a $50,000 opportunity and I wouldn't have known.

Like I said...

The party was fun.

But only because I didn't stand in my own way.

Till tomorrow..

Get out of your own way.

CTM

PS: If you're registered for the Breakthrough To Greatness workshop sheduled for this weekend...

Please know that it's been postponed to next week...

I'll be travelling this weekend.

PPS: For those of us who joined the Daily Mentor from the just concluded TribeCraft Workshop...

I'll be sending you an email to give you the opportunity to join me for the Breakthrough to Greatness Workshop...

Trust me when I say you've never quite experienced anything like it.

PPPS: Wanna hear my favorite kizomba jam? Click here