The Tribemaster's Daily Mentor | Volume 1: #25

FROM: The Desk of The Chief Tribemaster

“Most prefer the certainty of misery to the misery of uncertainty”

-Virginia Satir

Hey there

Yesterday I had something pretty interesting to me happen - to me.

I reached out to someone to work with them on developing some IP - they have an amazing profile and are doing pretty well...

But I felt their current model left a lot of money on the table and and wasn't optimized for the results I knew they wanted.

Now...

To be honest all I truly wanted to do was be helpful - and even though I wasn't going to do it for free, I was willing to cut her a great deal.

My current going rate for an intensive ( a one day private program for one) is $5000.

The offer was to have her pay what she wanted...

So you can imagine my surprise when she opted for full pay with no discounts...

It kinda through me off balance.

So...

For the next 10mins we fought each other on her right to pay full price.

She insisted that it was what she wanted to do...

I insisted that my offer was predicated o the basis that she paid less than my regular fee...

Eventually we settled for $3000 and she transferred the money.

After the whole experience I found myself asking the question:

Victor what was that about?

Typically 5k makes more sense than 3k - so why did i fight her for the right to be paid less?

I don't have any answers yet - and I'm okay with letting that just chill in my head knowing eventually when I least expect it, the answers will come.

That's something that took me a while to learn.

Harvard Business Review has a great article called “Teaching Smart People How To Learn”.

It brilliantly demonstrates why people that identify as smart have a hard time getting what they want.  

Any time something is presented to you that is new, different, challenges what you believe...

Or even presents an unanswered question...

The initial reaction is discomfort to the unknown. We want clarity and certainty as soon as possible.

Our human nature doesn’t deal well with uncertainty. 

We're wired to want to make sense of things as quickly as possible.

This is referred to as closing the loop.

We want to close the loop - make sense of things as quickly as possible.

This is amplified for people holding tightly to the identity of “being smart” because if they are uncertain, that identity is threatened. 

The problem is this leads to a lot of what’s called “single loop” learning.

This is an attempt at trying to find something that you can make sense of quickly to “close the loop”.

The benefit of quickly closing the loop is the immediate comfort of certainty.

The problem is that you blindly accept whatever rids you of the uncertainty the fastest - whether it serves you well or not. 

And so it's easier to assume things that ultimately lead you where you don't want to go - because you don't know how to let things be...

You don't know how to let things unfold on their own and so you force things to give your self a false sense of certainty that you,

“Most prefer the certainty of misery to the misery of uncertainty”

Feeling smarter or more intelligent isn't a basis for intelligence nor does it mean that you are learning.

So here's the thing...

As you go on this tribemaster journey with me...

Don't be in a rush to assume you understand everything...

Chances are high that you have no clue and don't know that you have no clue.

So give yourself the gift of staying open.

Let these ideas settle.

Get into the arena and get the data that will give you perspective,

Share your learnings...

and most importantly...

Get out of your own way.

CTM

PS: Blueprint kicks off this weekend - today. If you're joining us - you are in for the ride of your life. Check the Tribemaster's Academy space for details.