When your family member travels abroad, don't ask them for money until about 2 or 3 years later, if you must ask them at all. They don't pick up money on the streets there. Folks there hustle hard for their money. It is harder there than here. The reason many people go out there is that the money is valuable if changed into Naira.
No one will be comfortable in a place like Lagos, Nigeria and still relocate abroad. If it is in the north, it can be for security reasons, but trust me, when people relocate abroad from Lagos, Nigeria, it is usually for economic reasons. They go there to hustle, and they do unprofessional jobs that they will not do here. It is hard for them.
Have you noticed that folks who travel abroad, especially to the UK, usually keep an Afro or barb Gorimapa? Have you wondered why they do so? Did you think it was because they loved it? No, they don't like it, but they have to do it to save money.
Take, for instance, the UK; haircuts there cost between £19 and £32, which, when converted to Naira, is between N17000 and N28000. Now, I don't have to tell you why they do it. That's someone's salary in Nigeria. Now calculate that, and you will know why they keep Afro or barb Gorimapa.
They consider it a waste of money to spend that amount to cut hair, and they have to do it at least four times a month. If they picked up money on the streets there, they would cut their hair even twice a week, but they don’t.
Forget about the fine pictures of fine places that you see, things are not as easy as they look abroad. It is like believing that everyone who lives in Lagos is better than those in the village. I knew the truth when I went back to the village for my grandmother's burial two years ago. A lot of my friends who did not leave the village were doing far better than me.
They have assets and businesses and look better than me too, yet they expect me to give them money because I live in Lagos. What an irony. That's the way your life is better than that of those people that you envy because they are abroad.
One of my uncles traveled to the UK with his family recently and did so discreetly. Other family members seem annoyed that he did not tell them, but I understood his decision. He has reached a level in the family where no one gives him anything; everyone just comes to take from him. He has a family too, and he owes them upkeep.
The pressure was too much for him. He was going broke and had to save his head by changing locations. He's a good guy, but he was sinking and needed to get himself out. His family needs him, and he owes them a good life. He traveled to hustle, not to enjoy a luxurious lifestyle. I will not ask him for money because I can understand him. They don't pick up money on the streets of the UK.
My uncle did not discuss his plans with me, but I am financially savvy, observant and sensitive enough to know that it is not as easy as it seems. He traveled with a wife and three kids; those are a lot of responsibilities already. He owes them, so before he can remember folks like me, he has to sort them out first.
Moreover, there is no law that says he must help his extended family members. He's just being a good guy, but when resources are limited, he has to set his priorities right. I can only pray for him now, but if I need financial help, he’s the last resort now.
In conclusion, you should understand that traveling abroad is not an automatic success, just as living in Lagos does not mean automatic success in Nigeria. Every success requires a process. It takes processes to make it abroad, just as it takes processes to make it in Lagos.
I have been in Lagos for more than 10 years, and I am not where I want to be yet. What makes you think it will not take the same number of years for some folks to make it abroad? Give your relatives abroad a break. If they don't exist, you will live. Live and let them live.
When the time is right, things will fall into place, and everyone will be fine. Just don't give up on yourself. Keep working and improving yourself!
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