Dear ,

If you've opened this and you're thinking— "I can just avoid the conversation... I have other things to worry about"

I'm sorry to say you're wrong.

Avoiding difficult conversations will hurt you. Here's why:

• you’re basically letting go of your values and silently adopting theirs.
• you’re allowing yourself to downplay your needs and boundaries.
• you’re giving power to your fear and confirming to yourself that you are unable to handle tough conversations.
• your fear remains a fear, because you’ve always avoided it.

So, how do you tackle difficult conversations?

Every relationship and conversation is unique, and it’s hard to create some sort of framework, because every conversation has a different context.

I’ve come up with a 4 step ASMR framework that is principle based and highly likely to be applicable to any tough conversation.

Before that, here's a guiding principle:

Our lens of the world is influenced by our unique culture and conditioning. Everyone sees through a different lens.

Understanding this is crucial because very often we think we are right, and mentally concluded that the person is being ridiculous. The truth is that you and them see different realities. The only way to resolve a matter is for both parties to be open to see each other's perspective.

The first step to the ASMR framework is: Acknowledge the Situation

Bring up specifically what has been bothering you or what you want to talk about. Be as specific as possible.

The worst way to start is saying something vague like "You always don't do XYZ!" - that is not only an accusatory sweeping statement, it is completely untrue. "Always" means every second of the day. How can this person "always" do XYZ? Its no surprise they start being defensive.

Instead of making a vague sweeping statement, describe a specific incident that has recently occured.

Within this first step, you also want to acknowledge the possible intention in their actions. Example: "I recognise that you are very excited to share your ideas, and sometimes that translates into interrupting me mid-sentence."

Acknowledge the Situation is the first step to the ASMR framework. We'll be sharing the full framework, together with other powerful reflective exercises tomorrow during our gathering— let's talk: Difficult Conversations

I'll be collaborating with a new friend of mine, Brian. After knowing him for just 3 months, I have witnessed his vulnerability, his strength, his passion and deep sense of purpose for the work he does.

We are gonna get real vulnerable and share personal stories of our relationships (personal/ familial) as well as difficult conversations we needed to have professionally (in our career/ biz) 🥺

Most importantly we're learning how to BE HUMAN. Reconnect with our inner voice, hold space for the uncomfortable emotions, and lead the difficult conversations.

There’ll be facilitated opportunities to discuss ways in which you can tackle difficult conversations with greater ease and flow.

Join us on 26 June (TOMORROW) 7-10pm.

Location will be Central Singapore!👇🏼

Join us here! :)

Personally, I'm so excited to dive into this topic. Looking back I've realised this:

Every single difficult conversation I needed to have was an opportunity for growth.

Give yourself a time away from work and business to dive into this very important life skill - which can be used in your personal and professional life!

In your corner,

xx Rae