Dear ,

Recently I was asked this question that really made me ponder.

”What’s the hardest part about friendship?”

I thought about it… and I realised— friendships aren’t hard for me. They haven't been for a few years now.

After hosting 6 community gatherings in the last two months, I realise— this is not everyone's norm. Friendships aren't this easy - in fact, most people I meet share with me that they find it hard to meet people who "get it". They struggle to find community where they feel safe to be themselves, and to be understood.

So here's my "secret". Because everyone deserves to have good friendships.

Here's the thing— I used to get super conscious over keeping friendships, making sure I’m hanging out with them regularly, feeling the need to always “be in the know”

But as I go into adulthood (and entrepreneurship), I realise that any friendship that feels hard is just impossible to maintain.

See— we are designing our career, networking, building our personal brand, AND doing the inner work… life is hectic enough, friendships should feel supportive and easy, imo.

If two people are meant to be in each other’s lives, it will feel easy. 

If you’re both on the same wavelength, pursuing your own dreams and ambitions, and value each other’s friendship— it will feel easy… 

As someone who has 11/10 quality of friendships (aka people who support AND challenge me) here are some tips:

1️⃣ Know your friends enough for your brain to be reminded of them. 

If you’re an extrovert and multi-hyphenate like me, you may resonate with this… 

I tend to attend many events and be in multiple social circles, so I do have the tendency to forget to reply messages + text my close friends 😅

My biggest tip is this: Especially at the beginning of the friendship, spend some quality time with these select few in-depth, so you know them well enough for your brain to be reminded of them when you see things around you. (I.e. plants, cats, coffee, etc) 

And when you see something that reminds you of them, text them! Tell them this thing reminded me of you. That’ll keep the conversation going..! 

2️⃣ Set up mini telegram accountability groups.

Cheryl, Jennifer and I are in a mini group and the group stays active every other day, so I feel very caught up with their lives even tho we don’t meet super often (also Jennifer lives on the other side of the world)

Personally, the telegram accountability group has made me consistently more introspective, because writing/typing down my reflections and thoughts “force” me to have those internal conversations with myself as opposed to just share super raw unprocessed thoughts when I meet my friends.

I find that taking time to do the inner work and self-reflection 100% creates more high quality conversations and deeper connections. 

3️⃣ ALWAYS be in the right circles. Be around people who support AND challenge you.

These are people who you feel safe enough to be 100% yourself, and who gently call you out when needed. 

My #1 philosophy I live by is:

Do unto others what you want to be done unto you. 

💭 If you want to receive love and grace, how can you show love and grace to others, and to yourself?

💭 If you want to enjoy safe spaces to be you, how can you create that safe space for yourself, so that you can create that safe space for others too? 

💭 If you want nourishing and in-depth conversations, how can you regularly have difficult conversations with YOURSELF, so that you have the capacity to hold such deep conversations with others?

If these questions feel a lil confronting to you... it is doing its job.

These are difficult conversations you may need to have with yourself. They are the important reflections, even if they aren't necessarily urgent right now.

Thing is, 80% of our time is spent giving our energy to others— work, family, even chasing for goals we're told we should strive for.

Difficult conversations are always left on the back burner... but they'll come back, and when they do, it won't be pretty.

Choose to have these difficult conversations and reflections because its better to choose to, than to have them come at you (if you've been in frustrating relationships with others or have felt the nagging guilt/ shame/ doubt within yourself... you'll know what I mean)

Having Difficult Conversations and Tough Reflections is a life skill.

I've learnt that the more quality relationship I have with myself, the more quality relationships I have with others — professionally and personally.

If this speaks to you, join us in our upcoming gathering— "let's talk: Difficult Conversations"

I'll be collaborating with a new friend of mine, Brian. After knowing him for just 3 months, I have witnessed his vulnerability, his strength, his passion and deep sense of purpose for the work he does.

He learnt about difficult conversations the hard way— having his (ex) girlfriend whom he thought he was gonna marry BREAK UP with him due to his unresolved issues and gambling addiction.

He needed to confront the difficult truths within himself, so much so that he jokingly calls himself a "red flag detector" because he himself was a walking red flag 🚩

We'll be doing something a lil bit different — it's a mini-workshop with guided discussions around the topic of difficult conversations.

We are gonna get real vulnerable and share personal stories of our relationships (personal/ familial) as well as difficult conversations we needed to have professionally (in our career/ biz) 🥺

There’ll be facilitated opportunities to discuss ways in which you can tackle difficult conversations with greater ease and flow.

Join us on 26 June, Thursday, 7-10pm. Location will be Central Singapore!

If you’d like to join us, do catch the EARLY BIRD TICKETS👇🏼

Join us here! :)

A lil bit about Brian:

He is a is a Fitness Trainer, Positive Psychology Coach, and Mental wellness advocate whose work bridges the head, heart, and body. With a background in coaching various methodologies in fitness like Rhythm Cycling, Pilates Reformer and also Personal Strength training, he also has a deeply personal story of overcoming Anxiety, Anxious Attachments, Isolation and Gambling addiction and is rebuilding from the inside out. 

He empowers individuals to reconnect with their truth, strengthen their inner voice through personal dialogue and Coming home to themselves.

As for myself?

Some of you may know that I started emceeing and freelancing since I was 15 years old. As a passionate soul and multi-hyphenate, I was confronted with many difficult conversations -- with my peers, my (initially disapproving) parents, and most importantly myself. 

Over the years, I ultimately overcame insecurity, low-self worth, and the tendency to bypass my inner voice in favour of advice from people "better than me". 

Today, I'm a coach who guides rising leaders to Own their Voice -- reclaiming their unique voice so they can speak with power and navigate conversations with compassion and authority.

On the fence? Here's a recap of our last event that happened just a few days ago 🥺

Someone shared with me - "Rae, I’ve been trying to figure out what’s the real issue for so long. And just from your event today, from the activities and space from the event, I got the answer I needed from my inner voice.” 

This was shared by one peep at our event yesterday. And shortly after, multiple peeps told me they got the aha moment they needed. 

This absolutely warms the cockles of my heart 🥺🥺🥺

This is why we do what we do. All you need is ONE shift in perspective, ONE conversation, ONE decision — it can completely change your life. 

✨👀 I'm now in Europe till 20 June, and I'm excited to come back to SG and meet you guys!

Once again, join us on 26 June, Thursday Evening!

Do catch the EARLY BIRD TICKETS👇🏼

bring a friend you like! haha

Ok I AM IN!!

In your corner,

Rae xx