Hey ,

Once, I was coaching a client on a group call. She initially gave me brief, surface-level responses. Something told me that there was more to the issue.

She eventually opened up about her struggles but then apologised, saying— “Ah, I feel so bad for sharing about my problems and bringing the “negative energy” to everyone…”

If you’re a leader, or you’re on a path less travelled, you’ve probably felt the same:

• Forcing yourself to show up like everything is A-OK, when you’re swimming through doubt/ shame/ frustration/ burnout.
• Putting up a perfect front with no outlet to express your real emotions weighing you down.
• Struggling to show up authentically while continuing to “sell” yourself.

Listen— Your tears are not an inconvenience. Your problems are not a burden. Expressing vulnerability isn’t a burden to others but a testament to your humanity.

We’ve been sold this illusion that strength is in perfection— leaders having it all, thought leaders showing their perfectly edited “vulnerable” stories.

Women who see their moms and grandmothers giving tirelessly and putting themselves last. Men who were taught since young that “real men don’t cry”.

And there’s nothing wrong with curating our online persona. We have every right to share what we want to share, and keep the rest out of sight.

But it is not okay to see perfection as normal. It’s not okay to expect ourselves to show up as the picture perfect role models we follow online.

It’s not okay because when we hold ourselves to such expectations, we unconsciously do the same for others. (and if you’re someone with more influence aka leaders, brands and parents, we further perpetuate this unhealthy standard)

Expressing our vulnerability is essential, and yet— not everyone has the privilege to do so.

In my early 20s, I entered one of my first work environments. Overtime I realised I was constantly on-edge. I often felt like I had to prove my worth, to compete and achieve better results, to watch what I say.

In separate instances, I noticed that I felt a similar feeling in a couple of environments or mentor-mentee relationships. It felt like what I say and how I act would be scrutinised and held against me. I couldn’t figure out why I felt so uneasy.

I was learning from people who were smarter, more experienced, earning more money. What made things more confusing to me was that I actually looked up to these people. And they had many “followers” who spoke so highly of them.

So I assumed it was because I wasn’t good enough.

It took many of such experiences, where I bypassed by own unique voice and listened to someone else (more senior than me) when I learnt this— our body has profound wisdom. When we build a deep trusting relationship with our voice, we can tell when an environment or person isn’t good for us (even if they seem perfect)

Having heard from a couple of corporate peeps (both younger ones and those in management), it seems like most corporate environments are like what I’ve experienced. Only it is worse.

For me, I can choose to end a mentoring relationship and remove myself from fear-inducing environments.

For some people, choosing themselves comes with consequences (i.e. “losing out” in corporate success, not being able to advocate for their team if they don’t achieve certain results, etc).

It’s such a complex and nuanced situation. A corporate peep shared that “corporate people face engineered scarcity where often people are gunning for one elusive promotion”. Not all corporate environments are like this of course.

What I’m getting at here is this— after experiencing it multiple times, where I needed to be on “high-alert”, I can’t imagine feeling that on a daily basis. Think— overthinking the email you send, orchestrating your presentation a thousand times fearing that any mistake will lead to irreversible judgement, constantly checking your phone during lunch because you ‘need’ to reply people right away…

Do I have a solution for this? No. Lol. Let’s normalise talking about things we don’t yet have a solution for.

This entire situation frustrates me, because I believe deeply in our human potential and infinite creativity.

But iconic ideas simply cannot emerge without psychological safety (Google’s 2015 study ‘Project Aristotle’ found that psychological safely was the most significant success factor underpinning high-performance teams across the organisation.)

One of my top intentions this year is to bring Own Your Voice into organisations. Because as much as we can empower the individual, change is an uphill battle if organisations stick to their rigid ways and leaders follow along because they too are driven by fear.

Back to how I started this post: Your tears are not an inconvenience. Your problems are not a burden. In an increasingly AI-dominated world, what we need is your humanity.

If the environment in which you spend the most time is against this truth, and constantly puts your nervous system on high-alert, please create that psychological safety for yourself through other ways.

This could look like:

✨ Setting non-negotiable meditation, reflection and journalling time. Ground yourself, learn how to feel at home in your body. Build a strong, unshakeable trust with your inner voice, such that nothing external can bring you down.

✨ Set up regular check-ins and connection time with your “safe space” friends. The 1-2 people who see you as you are. These are people you don’t have to overthink your words with. To them, you could do no wrong. And even if you do “wrong”, they call you out gently out of love (and not spite or ego).

✨ Be ultra careful with the thought leaders you follow online. Every single post on social media is created to influence you. Yes, even this one. With this knowledge, ask yourself— What do I actually think about this? Do I like how this makes me feel? (and if the answer is no, is it a feeling of unsafety or of beneficial discomfort?)

✨ Make third spaces a priority. "Third places" are social spaces, distinct from home (first place) and work (second place), where people gather for social interaction, community building, and informal connection. Expose yourself to diverse perspectives in low-pressure environments. Introduce yourself in out-of-work contexts. Allow people to meet other facets of you. You’re not defined by your work. This is powerful, because when you recognise how multi-faceted you are, any failure or rejection at work doesn’t affect you as much as if it is your entire world.

✨ Of course, there’s so much power in coaching— having a neutral person to hold up a mirror to you so that you unlock previously hidden perspectives and blind spots. Coaching is not teaching, it is not mentoring. Coaching is a skillset— good coaches master the art of showing up unbiased. They are active listeners and ask powerful questions designed to guide you to your truth. They guide you to seeing yourself as your own authority (which is so crucial in an increasingly noisy world)

When you enter the Own Your Voice Circle, our top priority is to build a deep, trusting relationship with your voice. This is the foundation to everything. With it, can we unlock:

• Your unique thoughts and ideas that will attract your aligned clients and collaborators
• Your one-of-a-kind personal brand, because you say what’s on your mind without fear holding you back
• Your magnetic presence— the undeniable confidence and conviction that leaves an unforgettable impression, and continues to build your brand through what people say about you
• Your voice of authority and leadership, elevating the way you speak in high-pressure scenarios— in your board meetings, in front of clients, on camera and social meda
• and more…

Own Your Voice. Build that radical self-trust. The higher you “climb”, the more discipline you have to be in managing your thoughts and learning how to respond instead of react.

It’s incredibly difficult to know who you are and what you want when we are constantly marketed to, persuaded, influenced, and subtly told “you’re not good enough…” 😮‍💨

Most of the time, it’s not money they want. It’s respect, validation, to feed into their ego, to fulfil their dream (not yours).

❌ Some things are NOT completely within our control:

- organisational culture

- how a leader leads

- culture of competition, hustle, produce at all cost mentality

✅ But many things ARE:

- who we allow into our mind space

- who has influence over us

- who we choose to follow on social media

- the conversations we choose to enter

- how we choose to define ourselves (i.e. completely by our work/ profession, or holistically)

- how we choose to think (even if our situation/ environment is not ideal)

- how we choose to think, how we manage our thoughts, how we speak to ourselves

- how we lead, how we speak, how we contribute

Owning Your Voice is choosing to live in what we can control. It’s stepping into your power, adapting to the times.

It is choosing to lead ourselves, so we can lead others with integrity (even if everyone is telling us to focus on producing more than our KPI).

This is what it takes to be a voice worth following. A voice worth following is one that doesn’t echo everyone else but speaks from their truth within. It is a voice of courage and vulnerability.

⚡️This is what we work on— work that is healing for ourselves and for others, especially if you’re someone already with influence. It is both the inner work and mastering our outer expressions (speaking and communication skills, branding clarity and strategy)

Your voice can be your greatest asset, for your business and for your people.

Does this intrigue you? Frustrate you? Fire you up? ❤️‍🔥

Are you a rising leader who wants to own your voice so you can cut through the noise with your message and work you believe deeply in? 👇🏼

📥 I’ll love to gift you 20 mins of my time for you to ask any questions/ work through the blocks and frustrations keeping you from Owning Your Voice right now.

Simply reply this email and let's arrange it ✨❤️‍🔥

in your corner,

Rae xx