how to be MORE human in the age of AI
Jun 20, 2025 12:01 pm
Dear ,
A few days ago I came across an ad that grossed me out.
In just a few quick clicks, you can create your "perfect" AI boyfriend/girlfriend who will literally speak to you exactly the way you want it to.
At first I thought— "Nah... it's so fake! No one is going to download this!"
*I paused*
If you told me 10 years ago that swiping left/right on dating apps would replace the cute confession letters I got butterflies writing in secondary school, I wouldn't believe you.
Thats's just it - When something becomes convenient, we can't help but avoid discomfort.
A quick google and you'll see that AI boyfriends have been around for a while now.
This article by The Straits Times write about how the long working hours in China make it hard for youths to see their friends regularly, much less have the emotional bandwidth for the uncertainty in relationships (because humans are not predictable or "certain")
“He knows how to talk to women better than a real man,”
“If I can create a virtual character that... meets my needs exactly, I’m not going to choose a real person,”
These are quotes taken from an interview with one such young adult turning to AI boyfriends.
If you're like me and you've benefitted from genuine human relationships, this should trouble you like it is troubling me.
Babies need the warmth of human touch to survive. WE need human touch to thrive— studies show that hugs and physical touch protect us against stress and sickness.
Beyond the importance of human connection, what concerns me is this:
People are tired and stretched beyond capacity. They've been taught to maximise their time and energy in the name of productivity, so much so that they are outsourcing the very things that make us human.
>> Learning how to be a good friend. How to hold space. How to say sorry, resolve conflict, take accountability. (AI boyfriends won't disagree with you, so no need for conflict resolution, right?)
>> Embarking on the fulfilling process of wrestling with conflicting ideas.
"Too often we enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought."
John F. Kennedy
With AI, we don't even need to sit with our thoughts or gather our friends to engage in critical discussion. AI offers quick answers and ready-made solutions, allowing us to settle with convenient opinions instead of wrestling with challenging ideas.
>> When we rely too heavily on AI to think for us, when we let ChatGPT write our content quick and easy, we sacrifice the inevitable discomfort that comes with building critical thinking and developing original thought.
Wisdom doesn't come from being a super-prompter. It comes from going through challenges, reflection, engaging in discourse, having those difficult conversations.
Hyper-productivity and capitalism has conditioned in us the value of predictability and certainty.
But it is the imperfection and spontaneity that reveals our humanity.
Nowadays, we don't even need to worry about making mistakes in our emails or texts. We just ChatGPT it. And yes, it does help us avoid mistakes, but it also erases our personality and character.
In a world that rewards efficiency, we will be tempted to choose convenience. But remember, for some things - choosing convenience is sacrificing your growth and your humanity.
So, how to be MORE human in the age of AI?
💡 AI can be your assistant, but never, EVER, give up your role in the driver's seat. Ask yourself - What are the tasks that are MY job, and my job only?
Yes, you may take longer than others - but you're choosing not to outsource your human experience.
💡 Prioritise learning and developing actual human skills. Do not leave it to last minute. Make it a priority.
Learn how to be a good friend. How to handle difficult conversations. How to resolve conflict and initiate intimidating conversations.
My upcoming in-person workshop/ gathering is titled "let's talk Difficult Conversations", but really, we're diving deep about how to protect our humanity in a world pushing us to become work production machines.
I'll be collaborating with a new friend of mine, Brian. After knowing him for just 3 months, I have witnessed his vulnerability, his strength, his passion and deep sense of purpose for the work he does.
We are gonna get real vulnerable and share personal stories of our relationships (personal/ familial) as well as difficult conversations we needed to have professionally (in our career/ biz) 🥺
Most importantly we're learning how to BE HUMAN. Reconnect with our inner voice, hold space for the uncomfortable emotions, and lead the difficult conversations.
There’ll be facilitated opportunities to discuss ways in which you can tackle difficult conversations with greater ease and flow.
Join us on 26 June, Thursday, 7-10pm.
Location will be Central Singapore!👇🏼
On the fence? Here are some messages I received after our last event 🥺
All you need is ONE shift in perspective, ONE conversation, ONE decision — it can completely change your life.
Once again, join us on 26 June, Thursday Evening!
We have a Buddy Rate (2 tickets bundle) so bring a friend you like!👇🏼
Ps-- I'm also speaking on a panel this Sunday organised by The Los Angeles Tribune, together with amazing thought leaders I respect.
We have world renowned experts including Jim Kwik, Joseph McClendon III, and Alex Dwek (Nas.io) who will be speaking live.
It's a FREE virtual hangout - you can join us here!: https://www.latsingaporeshow.com/the-singapore-leadership
In your corner,
xx Rae