Dear ,
"How to develop influence?" Ask this question and most people will tell you:
- Be genuinely interested in people
- Learn how to build rapport with people, look for similarities and common ground
- Be an active listener and have them talk about themselves
- Compliment, encourage and praise them
These are all wonderful skills to learn in our communication, but skills are only 10% of the equation. Skills are easy to learn. Substance takes work to develop. And it is in a world that is getting increasingly noisy, where influence has to be genuine in order to actually make an impact and take the lead.
Genuine influence requires substance. Substance is reflected in the energy you bring into the room. It is shown in the way you lead conversations, handle questions, manage unpredictable challenges. It is seen in how comfortable you are in your skin, in showing multiple facets of your being. It is seen in how to handle fame, success and recognition. Substance gives you that effortless and authentic gravitas in the way you speak.
Now here's how to develop genuine influence:
- Live life fully and wholeheartedly
- Build a trusting relationship with your voice
- Contribute by using your voice
1 — LIVE LIFE FULLY AND WHOLEHEARTEDLY
Substance comes from experience - experiencing life in its ups and downs. Don't you realise that the most interesting, charismatic, confident, and wise people are those who seem to have lived three times their lifetime? They've travelled many countries, met so many people, went through so many challenges.
Influence does not come by simply being book-smart or earning those credentials. Influence comes with a deep knowing of your sense of self, which comes with experience - experiencing life wholeheartedly. “Wholeheartedly” means commitment and sincerity — what does it mean to commit to life? Just like commitment in a relationship, it means you’re here for it in both its highs and its lows.
This means:
- choosing to see opportunity in the challenges, knowing that the hard times are valuable experiences as well
- creating space to celebrate your wins, like actually acknowledging your growth and celebrating yourself
- meeting those tough conversations even though they are seriously uncomfortable
- putting time and mind-space aside to explore your curiosities and natural inclinations - pursue hobbies, interests, have fun!
- spend time alone... because you will learn so much about yourself by having unplanned, spontaneous internal conversations with yourself
2 — BUILD A TRUSTING RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR VOICE
Experience has to come with reflection. Living life without reflection is akin moving through life like a robot. Reflection helps us understand ourselves on a deeper level. This means:
- holding space for reflection and our various emotions
- paying attention to the voices in our head — the critical voice, the wise helpful voice, and the many other voices that exist within us
- creating your own conclusions and realisations, having those “aha” moments
- prioritising (and practicing) listening to your own voice over the voice of others
- allowing space for the “I don’t knows”
People with influence have trust in their voice. They have a clear sense of self, even if they don’t have all the answers. They trust themselves to figure things out along the way.
3 — CONTRIBUTE BY USING YOUR VOICE
When you do 1 and 2, you’ll naturally have people coming to you asking you for advice, for answers, for help. This is where you’ll naturally come to the point of contributing with your voice — using your voice in conversations, on stages, on social media.
Overtime, you may wanna take your impact to a whole new level by improving your speaking and storytelling skills. The most influential people create a permanent shift in someone simply with their presence, their story and their words. Your presence can be magnetic. Your story can inspire hope. Your words can heal and transform.
Influence is given to you when you have something for people to be influenced by (lol, duh?!) So what is it? Is it your passion? Your mastery of your craft? Your mindset or way of living? Your principles and philosophy in which you build your business? You don’t need to stress about finding the answers to these, because it is when you live life fully will your journey naturally be an inspiration to others, and that way, you’ll develop genuine influence.
I'll love to hear your responses :)
Share with me what stood out to you by taking a snapshot of this email letter, and sharing your thoughts on Instagram or LinkedIn.
Alternatively, drop me a DM on Instagram, or join my Telegram Tribe here!
and as always, If you’re a rising leader and you want to create impact with your voice, you're invited to join the Own Your Voice 6-months coaching program, find out more here, or watch my free masterclass to get a clearer idea on what your immediate focuses should be in terms of owning your voice.
You may also purchase my online courses at https://raefung.com/learn-with-rae
Remember, you have everything it takes to Own Your Voice.
xx, Rae
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