Dear ,

When I first started as a coach, I felt the immense need to ensure my coachees get the results they want. Not just that, I wanted them to get the results that I want for them.

"This is what a good coach and service-provider does!"— I thought.

Practically speaking, I wanted transformation testimonials that were impressive, so I could get more sales.

But deep down, what I truly wanted was validation for my value as a coach.

Here's the truth— very often we do things in the name of strategy, but deep down, our reasons are rooted in vanity.

We might say:

👀 "I'm going to start shifting towards working with directors/ high-net-worth clients because its a smarter business decision."

👀 "I'm going to stop content creation, it's not giving me enough traction so it doesn't make sense for my business."

👀 "I need to 3x my number of clients this year for my business to make sense."

Deep down, what we're thinking is this:

💭 "Working with directors/ high-net-worth clients make me look more credible, I'll gain more respect."

💭 "If nobody watches my content, there's no point in creating it." We tend to make assumptions easily, thinking— "Ah, people aren't liking or commenting on my posts. It's not working." or we fall into apathy by thinking "Whatever... I'm just going to let the people who are meant to find me, find me."

💭 “I need to 3x my number of clients this year or else I’m not a ‘legit’ entrepreneur and I'm going to feel ashamed.”

Now I'm not saying any of these "business decisions" are wrong. There is no right or wrong, only what feels aligned to you.

It may be a "smarter business decision" to someone else, but if it doesn't support your vision, nor does it bring in the kind of people you want to work with, then you're at risk of leaving your dream career/ business/ life behind.

Your intentions, conscious or subconscious will influence your energy. Best case scenario, you procrastinate. Worst case scenario, you end up overcompensating, overselling or constantly chasing for validation and getting burnt out.

This is why in content creation you find yourself:

😩 Unsure of what to post

😩 Telling yourself you'll show up more, but forever procrastinating

😩 Posting a lot of lifestyle-type content but never saying the real stuff (your deeper stories, perspectives, truths)

And when working with clients, you may find yourself:

😩 Rushing to reply your clients right away, hence disrupting your workflow and productivity

😩 Having poor boundaries— giving your clients way more time and energy than agreed upon, and spoon feeding them when they ask for help

😩 Feeling like you're never doing enough or giving enough

😩 You blame yourself when your clients aren't progressing fast enough

We don't want our egos to get hurt. So we mute ourselves. We hold ourselves back. We procrastinate.

The first step to change

Acknowledge that you've been in this unhealthy loop. Look at the explanations (excuses) you've been giving yourself, and get real honest— what is the real reasons driving your "strategic" decisions?

Attracting the right people into your world

How you show up, the boundaries you create and enforce, and the decisions you make— they've created the people you now have in your world. Do you like the people in your world? And even if you do, ask yourself— What are the people you'd like to populate your world with in the next 3-5 years?

What do you have to do, what decisions do you have to make, what do you have to let go— in order to invite such people into your world?

Your answers to the above will need to guide your speaking, your marketing and branding. You need to shift the way you communicate in order to attract such people. Sometimes this means doing less and communicating stronger frames.

The perspective that changed my life

Today, I've absolved myself from responsibility over my coachee’s results.

You see— Just because you've planted the seed, it doesn't mean you're entitled to the fruits.

I could have planted the seed, and then my client could get a next mentor, a next coach, etc etc... then 3 years later finally get that massive breakthrough they wanted.

Most of the time, the "final" coach will take that result and market them as an amazing testimonial. But what we don't see is the journey this person has been on.

Everyone has their own timeline. They have their own journey to go on.

I stop seeing getting results for clients as my responsibility. "Getting results" is the outcome of:

• My guidance as a coach (or ability to reflect upon them what they feel has to be done)
• Their action
• The Universe (a HUGE element of surrender)

Very often, the results we want is not what we're meant for in this life. It's kind of paradoxical because we create our own reality and yet, we have a life planned for us so much bigger than we can imagine.

At the end of the day we can't control the outcome of anything fully, so for me— I ensure I enjoy the process of what I do, be it coaching, building the business, content creation or personal branding.

I coach because I genuinely enjoy coaching, I enjoy helping people see a different perspective. I stay unattached to the results because attachment creates suffering (and limitations).

As you can see, there's a lot of inner work that goes into building a career and business you're proud of.

I wrote an article about The ROI of Inner Work, and Why Your Business Needs It, read it here

In your corner,

Rae xx