Today is a special Father’s Day for me. It’s the first one without my dad, and the first one as a new dad.

Before our son was born, I sat quietly and contemplated becoming a father. Thinking of my own dad, I felt safe and warm. He embodied protection, stability, and generosity. Though he lived thousands of miles away, I felt profoundly held just knowing he was there. 

The father is a potent archetype personally and collectively. Though anyone in our life can be a father figure, many haven’t had the good fortune of having had a healthy one. What’s more, throughout history religion has been misused to twist the metaphor of the Father towards domination over other creatures, humans, and the earth.

And so, Father’s Day can be complex and bring up difficult feelings—sadness, mourning, anger, loneliness, and more.

All of this compels me to appreciate the profound blessing of what my dad offered me, and to aspire to pass that on to my own son. This begins with seeing and appreciating him for who he is. Paying careful attention is an act of love. 

It also means learning to receive his love. I revel in the way he crawls onto my lap, reaches up, and buries his head in my neck. He calls forth the best in me— and it’s a work in progress. I regularly come up against my own limitations in humbling ways. When I do, his vulnerability and trust renew me. My father's memory holds me.

Sometimes when I rock him to sleep, I feel his tender weight in my arms and think of my dad. I imagine him living through my body, holding his grandson—something he never had the chance to do. In some mysterious way, I can feel his joy.

On this Father’s Day, I wish you the strength, love, and protection of a father—wherever and however you experience it. May you know the wise, caring, and supportive energy of fatherhood, and may you offer that blessing to those around you.

In kindness,

Oren

Upcoming Events

Several online trainings are now open for registration on my website:

• July 7 – Aug 11: Wise Speech: Introduction to Mindful Communication, 6-week online course, by donation, open for registration
• August 10-13: The Living Peace Retreat, 4-day online training in Nonviolent Communication, now open for lottery registration
• September 9 – 10: Immersion in Nonviolent Communication, 8-month online training, applications now open

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