There's no shortage of opportunities to practice patience in life. Whether you're sitting in traffic, navigating a corporate phone maze, or dealing with a difficult co-worker, we each know something about the benefits of patience.

Religions and cultures around the world recognize its supreme value. One of the great meditation teachers of the 20^th Century, Sayadaw U Pandita, once said, “Patience paves the road to freedom.”

And yet, as we look around at a world on fire (literally and figuratively), this can feel like a fanciful notion. How can having patience with climate emergency, war, and the rest of the chaos in the world be useful?

Patience does not mean standing idly by in the face of harm, quietly enduring the destruction of our world, or meekly allowing others to engage in abuse. It's also not about gritting one’s teeth, tensing up, or resisting an unpleasant experience while we wait for it to end. These are all forms of contraction and aversion, not patience.

Patience is a steadfast relaxation of the heart and mind that slowly relinquishes resistance. It is a movement towards release and acceptance that makes room for intensity, a firm commitment to softening that allows us to open to and bear with the truth of any experience.

Meeting the heartbreak and uncertainty of life with grace takes tremendous patience. Whether its difficult news from our family or the latest headlines, the pull towards shock, outrage, despair, and overwhelm are strong.

Patience works at the level of our inner tension in relation to the unfolding of life, meeting what is at the edges. When we cultivate patience with anything—a personal foible, an irritating circumstance, immense grief—we create the conditions to respond in a way that is clear and deliberate, enhancing our efficacy rather than robbing us of agency.

I’ve found nature imagery to be one of the most helpful ways to connect with the steady, expansive quality of patience. Here in Northern California, there are still a few stands of old growth Redwood forest. They tower overhead, some more than 2,000 years old!

It is humbling to be in the presence of these living, breathing giants, that have stood on the planet for so many centuries. Their longevity embodies patience on a scale far beyond a human lifetime. The next time you are struggling, when you feel a surge of reactivity, try calling to mind the image of a great, old tree, or simply reflecting on the word “patience.” 

Instead of suppressing your life energy, a few moments of patience can create the breathing room to bear with the internal pressure of a reaction, offering us the freedom to choose how we respond. Over time, patience slowly wears away the roots of our reactivity, like a ship cut loose from its mooring, opening the doorway to inner freedom.

In this way, it provides the longevity needed to shift deeply rooted, underlying patterns—be they habits of the psyche or structures of society—towards more beneficial, life-serving ones.

And when the heart is free from the tangles of fear, hatred, and reactivity, we have that much more clarity and love to offer the world.

In kindness,

Oren

PS: I’m leading a three-day program on Mindful Communication next week, How to Create Real Dialogue and Healthy Relationships. Join me online or in person at Spirit Rock Meditation Center!

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