These days, I often find myself reflecting on what’s most important.

When I look back on my life, what will matter most? Are the choices I’m making today in alignment with how I want to use my time on this planet?

This reflection often has a sobering effect. It acts like a tonic for my heart, helping renew my strength and commitment in life.

It also reminds me of how essential communication skills are for accomplishing one's goals—even more so during a pandemic and the ongoing struggle for economic, racial and environmental justice.

In our current historical moment, good communication is essential in three ways.

First, on an individual level, conversation is the lifeblood of healthy relationships. The nourishment of such relationships is paramount for staying resourced right now.

Second, on a professional level, clear and kind communication gives us more leverage to meet the demands of a changing economy and to coordinate projects while working remotely.

Last, on a social level, collective problems can’t be solved individually. We need strong conversation skills to navigate differences, create diverse coalitions, and stay true to our principles as we work for change.

In my book, Say What You Mean, I share three core practices I’ve found to be transformative in creating more clarity, understanding and efficacy in interpersonal communication.

1. Lead with presence. Showing up is the pre-requisite for understanding, meaningful conversation, and effective teamwork. To give someone else your full attention speaks volumes, as it offers them your most precious, finite resource: time.
2. Come from curiosity and care. Intention shapes our nonverbal communication and determines the trajectory of a conversation. To genuinely listen, to speak in a forthright and caring manner, creates the conditions for real dialogue.
3. Focus on what matters. We need a keen and flexible attention to identify what’s actually important to oneself and others in conflict and complex negotations. When we can acknowledge the underlying needs in a situation, we have more access to empathy and more space to think creatively about how to move forward.

Shifting our communication habits takes time, persistence and effort. But the rewards are profound.

If you’d like the support and guidance of a structured approach to transforming your communication, consider joining me this fall for Say What You Mean, my 12-week, live online course. Based on my book, the course takes you through a step-by-step training to create lasting change in your communication and relationships.

You can learn more about the course and what past students have said here. There are also discounts, CEs and scholarships available. I welcome you joining me.

In kindness,

Oren

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