During these long pandemic months, one thing that's come to mind repeatedly is how small acts can have a lasting impact in life, for better or worse. 

This is one of the reasons the Buddha stressed the importance of kaliyana–mitta, ‘wise companions’ or ‘spiritual friends.’ A spiritual friend is one who sees the good in us, shares generously, and won’t forsake us in hard times.

Or, as one of my favorite quotes goes, “A friend is someone who knows your song, and can sing it back to you when you’ve forgotten it.”

Looking back, I was blessed to meet people who sang my song back to me.

I felt fairly insecure as a teenager. I remember during high school, after being shunned by one group of kids, a new friend remarked: “They’re the ones missing out, because they don’t get to hang out with you.”

Something inside relaxed. Instead of believing there was something wrong with me, I entertained the notion that I was okay just as I was. 

It’s amazing how small moments of affirmation can add up. Even one comment can make a difference in our sense of belonging and self-worth.

In the same way, it’s tragic how easily we internalize negative or distorted comments from others.

So be discerning about whom you listen to. Seek wise companions—those who see the good in you, and who take the time to tell you about it.

And of course, never forget the gift you can offer to others: your friendship. You can be a mirror, reflect the goodness in others’ hearts, and remind them of it. If you know their song, you can sing it back to them in times of need.

In kindness,

Oren

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