“Well, I’m just being honest.”

How often have you heard those words? Or perhaps you've been the one saying them in defense of a sharp remark?

Truth and kindness are often presented as mutually exclusive: you’re either brutally honest (harsh), or kind (nicely tip-toeing around a painful truth). 

How does this actually serve us? Could it really be the whole truth if it requires us to disconnect from human empathy and compassion? And what does it mean to be kind if we can’t also be truthful at the same time?

Kindness doesn’t mean being nice or pleasing everyone. And being honest doesn’t give us a license to be mean or abusive. You can be real about hard truths in a way that is still kind and respectful, without diluting the message or curtailing the intensity of your feelings. 

More than two thousand years ago, the Buddha offered this teaching to help us see beyond this false dichotomy, encouraging us to bring great care and attention to our speech:

“Speak only that which is true, helpful, kind, and timely.”

Easier said than done, right? 

If you’re interested in threading that needle and learning how to speak your truth in a clear and powerful way, while staying rooted in human connection and love, I invite you to join me this summer for a special 6-week course through the Barre Center for Buddhist Studies, Wise Speech: An Introduction to Mindful Communication.

The course is designed to help you integrate your deepest values into your speech and relationships. We’ll explore the core teachings in early Buddhism on Right Speech, and how mindfulness and Nonviolent Communication can help us to say what is true in a kind, helpful, and context-sensitive way.

I am happy to be offering the course on an entirely donation basis. 

So join me Monday and Thursday evenings this summer, starting June 14. Bring a friend, colleague, or family member, and we’ll dig into the rich questions of applying the Buddha’s teachings on speech to our complex modern lives.

Hope to see you there!

Warmly,

Oren

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