How do we handle uncertainty as things continue to shift and change with the pandemic? Read my reflections, plus your invitation to join me this fall for my live, 12-week online course: Say What You Mean.

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With the recent changes in the pandemic and its new variants, life has revealed to us once again a deep truth: the truth of uncertainty. Just when we may have thought we could let our guard down, so much has changed again.

And yet uncertainty is the underlying reality of life. It’s what’s always been true: everything is unstable, temporary. Nothing is as solid as it appears. 

We all know this intellectually, but we don’t live from this truth. Our belief that everything will stay the same is a kind of delusion. I find it remarkable, how the mind is so powerful that it paints a picture of stability in a world of change—from moment to moment, from day to day. 

In Buddhist traditions, directly seeing impermanence and uncertainty is a central feature of meditation and a path to insight. From the perspective of the heart, the real issue is not the uncertainty and change. It’s our relationship to it.

How do we handle the truth of change when forced to face it so directly?

When faced with this difficult truth, the most liberating question is not, “How do I regain control?” Because we never really had control in the first place. The liberating question is: “How am I relating to this?” 

Contemplative practice helps us to realize what we do and don't have influence over. We can’t control most of what happens in life, but we can have some say over how we relate to things.

We can step back and reflect wisely: “How much control do I actually have here?” When we do this, we may begin to recognize that what we have the most direct influence over is our internal landscape: what we do with our mind and heart, how we think, and where we place our attention. What we do in this moment, right here and now, is what matters.

The Dalai Lama, who has known profound pain and dislocation in life, once put it very simply. “If you have fear of some pain or suffering, you should examine whether there is anything you can do about it. If you can, there is no need to worry about it; if you cannot do anything, then there is also no need to worry.”

So if you notice anxiety, tension, fear, or worst-case scenarios spinning out, that’s the time to pause and take a deep breath. Feel your body. Notice the sights and sounds around you. Feel the support of the ground beneath you. 

Recall the truth that everything changes, including the difficult emotions you're feeling. "This too shall pass."

This isn’t about disconnecting or cutting ourselves off from what we feel. It’s about not losing perspective or getting spun out. 

This kind of moment-to-moment practice helps us keep an even keel when the seas are rough. If you imagine a boat in a storm, you’ll realize that it doesn’t stay perfectly level. It rocks and sways with the swells. 

So having a keel doesn’t mean we don’t feel moved by the changes of life. It means that when the big waves come, our boat doesn’t capsize. Maintaining perspective helps us to roll with the waves and with each swell. It brings us back to a quiet knowing deep in our heart and helps us return to upright, to find our center again.

This understanding of change is rooted in trusting the present moment. There is no place else we can live, nowhere to run to, no better, happier, or safer place somewhere “over there.” It’s when we can breathe and ease into the reality of this moment that we find true inner freedom. 

It’s a freedom that comes not from controlling life, but from a flexible inner strength that can meet the hard stuff with a steady eye, that can be with whatever happens. 

This freedom is not just for ourselves.

When we find even a little more inner stability and balance in times of great change, we’re more available for others. We’re able to be there for our kids, for our parents, neighbors and coworkers. When we are in touch with the truth of uncertainty, we’re able to bring forth the beautiful qualities of our heart: kindness, patience, compassion, generosity.

Then, our presence itself becomes a source of support, comfort and strength for those around us.

In kindness,

Oren

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