The Freedom of Turning towards What's Difficult

Nov 23, 2020 1:39 am

It’s been a hard week.

I wept Tuesday morning when I learned about George Floyd’s murder. Here we are amidst this terrible pandemic, so soon after the killings of Ahmaud Arbery and Breonna Taylor, facing yet again the brutal, violent reality of racism.

I’ve been feeling heartbreak, grief, outrage, shades of helplessness and overwhelm. And, I know these feelings are not new for so many in this country and around the world.

And I’m grateful for every ounce of emotion I feel—because it reminds me that I am connected to life, and that part of the gift and responsibility of being alive is learning to love well.

The contemplative path teaches us to open our hearts to the truth, because that is where freedom lies. What’s the alternative? Shutting down? If we are unwilling to turn towards what’s difficult, we dig ourselves deeper into darkness, fear, confusion and disconnection.

Of course, the truth is not always pleasant.

There is a turning point on this path when we understand that the pain and heartbreak in life is not an obstacle, but rather fuel for awakening. When we understand this deep in our bones, the resistance softens. We can turn willingly towards the truth, even when it’s hard.

It takes resilience to open our hearts to that which is difficult. We need some ground, some strength and buoyancy inside to face the brokenness of our world.

Often that means doing what we can to take things in small pieces. (And if that’s not an option, we rely on what we’ve learned and do our best to keep our head above water.)

So this week I’m writing to say don’t give up, and don’t turn away.

As human beings we have the power to uproot hatred and fear from our hearts, to dispel the ignorance in our minds, and to come to each other’s aid in times of need.

White supremacy and racism are older than any of us. We didn't create the illness, but it's our responsibility to be part of the cure. There is no simple answer, no “one thing” for all of us to do. But there is something for each of us to do. Each of us has a role to play in the healing of our world. Loving well means caring for one another and standing up for justice.

Stay resourced. Bear witness. Open your heart and make space to feel what’s there.

And then act. Get involved in any way you can. If you’re white (or have white-skin privilege), continue educating yourself about white supremacy, racism, and what it means to be anti-racist. If you’re a parent, have the hard conversations with your children about the truth of this country’s history (this piece by Ruth King offers some guidance). Speak about what’s been happening with family, friends, colleagues and neighbors—in particular with those who don’t necessarily agree with you. Call for change. Donate. Find a local or national organization working to dismantle racism that speaks to your values and join it.

And, keep doing the deep inner work of breaking down the illusion of “us” and “them.” The real enemy is the delusion of our separation, superiority, or inferiority. The more clearly we see our shared humanity, the more we are able to act from love and compassion, rather than from fear, hatred or anger.