The marriage double-standard
Sep 07, 2020 3:30 pm
Read time: 1 min, 20 secs
Happy Labor Day!
This is the first email in my
30 23-Day Email Challenge (I changed it so the challenge would end on the last day of the month). It's not too late to do your own challenge (click here).
Let's talk about double-standards, those rules or principles that are unfairly applied in different ways to different people or groups.
We hear a lot about double-standards in society (seen any news this summer?!?).
And, we often experience double standards in marriage.
Two examples ..
It's okay for my wife to go out with her friends. But, if I do it, it's a problem, and I'm supposedly "never home."
Why is it okay for my husband to spend X dollars on his hobbies, but it's a problem if I spend half that amount on something I actually need?
As much as I hate to say this, double-standards are an unescapable part of life and marriage.
There will ALWAYS be something in your marriage that makes you feel like your spouse is getting over, while you're trapped by imaginary rules he/she keeps making up.
So, the questions become:
1. What do you do?
2. How do you keep the irritation in check?
3. How do you keep loving your mate when the rules seem only seem to apply to YOU?
Here are some pro tips that I practice myself:
1. Be angry [about the double-standard], but don't sin.
2. Bring the double-standard to your mate's opinion.
3. Be angry [that she/she doesn't see the double-standard], but don't sin.
4. Live under Christ's rule -- not your mate's rules.
5. Live humbly, and love your mate unconditionally.
6. Get some godly accountability partners who will listen to you vent.
7. Wash. Rinse. Repeat.
Yes, double-standards are real, but they don't have to rule over you.
I'll be back tomorrow with more.
Remember, you're one action away from making your marriage work.
ps - if this helped or inspired you, do two things ...
1) Reply and let me know. I read every message.
2) Send this link to a friend so they can get in on the action: http://marriage.works/inspiration