I'm currently in Brazil with my daughter, and the language barrier has been challenging at times.

More than once I've caught myself repeating a sentence in English to a person who speaks Brazilian Portuguese, as if me saying the sentence sloooooower and LOUDER is going to make someone who doesn't speak English magically understand what I'm saying. The solution has been to stop speaking the language I'm fluent in, and instead find a way to communicate in language that creates connection (hello Google Translate!).

Yesterday I was thinking how we speak our love language to our spouse repeatedly, thinking that somehow we're making our spouse feel loved.

While there's nothing wrong with us speaking our love language to our spouse, it's not the most helpful nor loving thing to do.

Why not?

Because speaking our love language doesn't land for our spouse the way it does for us—unless our spouse's love language is identical to ours. Moreover, it looks like we're not that interested in speaking their language, which could cause hurt feelings.

While in Brazil, I'm taking it upon myself to learn basic words, and find a way to communicate using the local language as much as possible. When I come across an English speaker, I'll speak English. Otherwise, I'm going to attempt to speak the language that causes communicates and leads to connection.

I encourage you to do the same with your spouse.

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