If marriage were easy, we'd find a way to make it hard.

I say that because as humans, we're gifted at making mountains out of molehills, making the simple complex, and finding ways to amplify our differences when the cup of commonality runneth over.

Due to our human being machinery, I'm doubtful we'll ever not do these things. But, we can be aware of it, and take an inventory where we're making things harder than they need to be.

I recall coaching a couple where the husband requested that his wife stop venting to their 11-year-old child about their marriage. Seems simple enough. She couldn't do it. As soon as the husband did or said something that triggered her, she'd tell their son all about it. As you can imagine, this caused the son to begin defending his mom, turn against his dad, and become the judge and jury of his parents. No child should have to do this, and if I were to ask this mom if she'd recommend that another mom tell her child her marriage baggage, she'd say no.

Marriage, like any meaningful relationship, requires intention, awareness, and humility. It’s easy to get caught in patterns that complicate what could be simple, or to default to behaviors that add unnecessary strain. But with awareness comes choice. If we can recognize where we’re creating unnecessary challenges, we can seek new paths that foster unity instead of division. Ask for grace to see those moments clearly, and lean into the support of those who can help you cultivate a healthier, more connected marriage.

Kevin